Never As It Seems

Chapter 20

She shook off Jay's hand and stared at Matt, while Connor stormed off of the bus.

"He's your brother?" She whispered, barely audibly.

Matt seemed confused. "Uh yeah." He looked at Jay, who hadn't moved an inch but was standing with his eyes closed and an expression of pain on his face. "I guess I should leave you to talk."

Jay opened his eyes and nodded to his brother, who quickly exited. Amber didn't turn around and she was almost consumed with the confused thoughts rushing around her head. She eventually felt Jay's hand on her arm.

"Babe I didn't want you to find out like this." Amber wasn't sure but she thought she detected a slight shake in his voice.

She didn't turn around and her tone was unexpressive. "You didn't want me to find out at all."

He sighed. "Look at me."

She shook her head and took a step further away from him. "I can't look at you Jay."

"Please. I need to explain."

At this she did turn around. "Yes you do! You've been lying to me!"

He dropped his face, which Amber noticed was ghostly white. "I didn't lie... I just didn't tell you." Now she was facing him, he was unable to look at her.

"You know how I feel about this." She said and Jay closed his eyes again.

"Which is why I didn't tell you. I was going to but I feel the same as you Amber. I hate the fame thing. I didn't choose it, just like you didn't." He paused and then finally looked at her. "He's just my brother baby. It's not like it's me that's famous and you were happy to hang out here all the time."

"Don't make me look like the bad guy!" She glared at him. "I had no problem being here because I thought you were just a roadie. That wasn't going to get me in the newspapers was it?!"

"And neither will this!" He rubbed at his forehead.

"You lied to me Jay. It's not really about Matt is it? It's about you not being truthful with me." Her voice cracked slightly and she fought back her emotions. "Don't you think I had the right to make a decision based on the truth?"

She could see the muscles in his jaw twitching again. "Yes you did and I was wrong. I'm sorry. You were just so militant about the whole thing and I thought if you knew, you wouldn't even give me a chance."

"So it's my fault?" Her hands went to her hips.

"No. It's not something I ever boast about so I didn't see any reason to tell you at the beginning. But then you went on and on about your Mum and it just got harder to tell you." He tried to put his arms around her. "It's not a big deal."

She pushed him away and took a step towards the door. "It is a big deal!" She almost shouted. "How can I ever trust you now? I can't believe a word you say to me!"

The expression on Jay's face looked like she had shot him. She continued. "And now I get it. The posh car... It's Matt's isn't it?" He nodded. "And I get why you're on this bus and not the other one."

Jay jumped in. "That's because of Connor. I couldn't be on the other bus with him."

"Oh yes of course and then there's Connor." She sneered "No wonder he hates you! You got a job here because Matt's your brother! What qualified person wouldn't hate you for that?"

Jay pursed his lips and clenched his fists until his knuckles were white. "I need this job." He said in a low tone.

Amber shook her head. "Whatever Jay. Connor said you were bad news and I didn't believe him. It's you I should never have believed."