Never As It Seems

Chapter 40

As Jay navigated the busy London streets, he and Amber remained silent, the car heavy with the weight of their thoughts. There had been no dramatic goodbyes. Matt and Rob had headed for the airport to rejoin the rest of the band in Ireland and Amber's family had not returned from wherever they were. Sarah had promised she would explain everything to her husband and calm him if needed. She offered to cut their holiday short and come home too but Amber refused to let her, for many reasons, not least keeping her brother and sister out of the situation and to have Jay to herself.

"I can't believe she's okay with this." Jay said once he'd merged onto the motorway.

"She's known all along." Amber drew in a deep breath.

"What?" He looked at her quickly and then back at the road.

"Now's not the time to get angry about this."

"About what?"

"She checked into your background when we first started seeing each other. I didn't know but she's known the whole time."

Jay sighed and slammed his hand down on the steering wheel.

"And she's judged me this whole time. You see Amber? Didn't I tell you? Once people know, I can't be me anymore. I'm just some delinquent good-for-nothing kid. One who'll never be good enough for the Mayor's precious daughter." He shook his head.

"Stop it Jay! None of this is her fault. Okay she shouldn't have looked into your past but she's letting us go to the house now. She's talking to the police for you."

"Yeah probably to take the heat off of her. Come on babe, she's never hidden the fact that she'd rather you were with anyone else." He laughed to himself. "She'd probably rather have you married off to that idiot ex-boyfriend of yours in the woods than see you with me."

She turned in her seat to face him. "You have no idea!"

"Oh really." He laughed cynically.

"Just stop it."

She crossed her arms and turned away to face out of the window. Her stomach was in knots and the nervous feeling that had sat there for the last few hours felt like it was going to eat her from the inside out. Why was Jay being so cruel when they were trying to help him? She was so angry with the way he was making her feel but so scared she was going to lose him to a prison somewhere. She gulped back the sob that tried to rise from her throat. Jay put his hand on her knee and she pushed it away, still focussing on the road rushing by out of her window.

After an hour or so Jay pulled into a service station. When he stopped the car, Amber jumped out and sped off ahead of him into the building. He was waiting for her when she emerged from the ladies. She went to move around him but he gently put an arm out to stop her and pulled her into an embrace.

"I'm sorry baby. I'm such an idiot. I'm just tired and stressed." He sighed as he held her.

Amber nodded and pulled back from him.

"Let's get home. I'm tired and stressed too." She said heading for the door.

"Amber please don't be angry with me." He followed her.

"I'm not. We just need to get home and get this mess sorted."

When they were sat in the car, he didn't start the engine and Amber looked at him questioningly.

"'This mess' is what I've been trying to protect you from all this time." He said, eyes forward.

"I didn't mean it like that. I just want everything to go back to normal."