Never As It Seems

Chapter 24

"You're not serious!" No response.

"Jay what the heck?" Still nothing.

Amber raised her voice. "Look at me!" She demanded.

He looked up at her with an expression of fear and yet defeat. It filled her with a sense of dread but she had to know what was going on. Something stopped her from pursuing it though and she put some distance between them by moving along the step. Still searching his eyes for answers, Amber could almost physically feel the tension she saw in them.

"Jay?" She almost squeaked.

He shook his head. "I can't." He muttered under his breath, putting his head in his hands.

"Can't what?" She pressed.

"I can't tell you." He dropped his hands and slowly stood. "I need to go."

"No way!" She grabbed his hand and pulled herself up to face him. "There's no way I'm letting you go without you telling me what's going on!"

"Please Amber... leave it." He sighed.

He looked so sad all of a sudden and she was almost tempted to give in to his request. But she couldn't. There was no way she could carry on with Jay, knowing there was something he was keeping from her. Especially because, judging by his reactions, it was obviously something big.

"How can I leave it?!" She furrowed her brow and pulled on his hand, trying to get him to respond.

His swift reaction made her jump and then freeze. Pulling her other hand into his and staring straight into her eyes, his words drew a lump to her throat.

"I'm not going to tell you Amber. I won't tell you... ever."

Even though his tone was soft, she couldn't shake their meaning. How could she ever trust him? She fought to get her next words out through the emotions that were now flooding over her. When she succeeded, she was surprised at how calm she sounded.

"Are we over?"

"What?" He let go of her hands. "No! Why would we be over?"

"I can't trust you Jay." She looked at him sternly and then squeezed her eyes shut to stop the threatening tears. When she opened them, Jay looked like he'd been shot. Realisation of what Amber was saying washed over him and it seemed to wrack him with pain. He shook it off quickly though. Trying his best to fight, he stepped towards her and reached out to touch her face. She turned it away but put her hand to his. Keeping hold of it, she lowered it to his side and shook her head as a tear escaped.

"Amber you can trust me. I promise you. It's just past stuff. It's not important."

She looked up into his concerned eyes. "It is important. If it wasn't, you would tell me."

He frowned, knowing she was right but not wanting to believe it. "I can't let us go."

This time it was his turn to shut his eyes tight. He rubbed at his forehead. Opening his eyes again at her touch, a glimmer of hope crossed them but was swiftly quashed by her words.

"Then you have to tell me."

He pushed her hand away, turned his back to her and cursed.

"Why can't you just leave it?!" He shouted.

His sudden change in temper startled Amber and she didn't know how to react. She waited for him to speak again and when he didn't she slowly headed for the front door.

Jay finally turned around to see her leaving and rushed after her.

"Don't! Please baby. I'm sorry."