Never As It Seems

Chapter 17

By mid August the city was hot! When Jay had free time, they got out of town as much as they could and spent it talking and laughing together. They spent a lot of time at the arena when Jay had to work and Amber noticed that whenever they were there, his mood seemed to darken. Oftentimes they would get in the car and just drive until they found somewhere that they liked the look of. Jay was a different person when they were alone. Carefree and fun. On one such day, they were walking together in the countryside. Amber found herself thinking how cool it was that her hand fit so perfectly into his... like they were made just for him.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked.

She felt herself blush slightly. "Oh just stuff." He nodded, seemingly happy with that.

"You?" She asked.

"I was thinking about September." Amber felt her stomach tighten.

"Well don't." She said matter of factly.

He squeezed her hand. "We have to talk about it some time. We've got three weeks left."

Amber didn't respond. She hung her head and studied the dry ground as they walked. She knew he wasn't going to let it go this time. The tour was moving away in a few weeks, to London, which meant Jay was going too. To start with they had both avoided the subject entirely but as the weeks passed, Jay had brought it up more often. Until now, Amber had managed to change the subject or brush it off. She knew Jay didn't really want to think about it either but neither of them had any idea what they were going to do about their relationship. She had noticed Jay becoming more agitated about it as the summer was drawing to a close and she knew that now was the time to talk about it. She just didn't want to because it would make it more real somehow.

"I just wish things could stay the same." She said after a few minutes.

"I know baby. So do I. But we knew at the beginning that they couldn't." He let go of her hand and put his arm around her waist as they walked. "I guess we'll just have to say goodbye and look on it as a happy memory."

Amber smacked his arm. "Don't joke. It's not funny." She whined, smiling at the same time. "And anyway I'd just come and stalk you."

Jay grinned. "Sounds like we've got ourselves a plan." She nudged him again.

"Seriously..." She said. "What are we going to do?"

He looked around for somewhere to sit down and spotted a conveniently placed boulder. He directed them towards it and they sat. The warm stone was comforting somehow, unlike the cold feeling of sadness that was creeping into Amber's heart.

"Maybe I could come with you." She looked at him with a frown, knowing that wasn't the answer to their predicament but trying to come up with something.

Jay shook his head. "I don't want you on the road and your Mum seems settled now with you not going to Uni. If you told her you were coming with me, she'd have a heart attack."

He was right of course and Amber felt like she owed it to her mother to do something constructive with the next year. Things had got back to a relatively normal state at home and she didn't want to start the arguments back up again. She also still had pangs of guilt for the things she had said to hurt her mother all those weeks ago.

Sarah had made a big effort to accept Jay and had even welcomed him to one of their family meals. Amber had spent the whole evening feeling awkward, especially when Sarah had questioned Jay about his job and future prospects. Amber knew she didn't mean it and was just trying to make conversation but to her it felt like she was looking down on him. Jay took it in his stride, as he did everything. He politely answered the questions, giving as little information as possible without sounding rude. When they left the restaurant, Jay had seemed distracted and when Amber asked him why, he admitted he felt like he wasn't good enough for her. Amber had convinced him that it was her decision to make and that she thought he was perfect. It was obvious that although Sarah was polite to Jay, she didn't approve of him. Amber wasn't too worried though. It was her own decision who she dated after all.