against the works of the flesh//frerard

chapter seventeen

The next Sunday, at mass, by the end of the service, Frank snaps back to listening when Father Clarence announces that Father Way will be dismissed from the ministry, meaning he will temporarily stop serving the community. Father Clarence lets him talk, gesturing towards him, and Father Way steps closer to the pulpit and takes a deep breath.

"I have been dealing with a few personal issues and I need time to reason with myself. Recently—" He stops himself by clearing his throat and Frank focuses as hard as he can on his facial expressions. He wants to listen to Father Way's words, but read through him and in between every line. Frank is sure this is related to the conversation he heard between Father Way and his brother, as the same word has been used.

"A couple of years back," Father Way restarts, placing his hands on the border of the chest-high pulpit, but taking another deep breath. "A couple of years back, I started mistrusting my own faith, started questioning my own heart about matters that should always remain clear, but they haven't been. In his first epistle, John said, if we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness, and I shall do it, first to Father Clarence and finally to our Bishop."

"I need time, though; I need to reach some clarity on these thoughts that I've been having. It's not issues with the doctrine itself, don't worry. I'm just concerned about my own soul and my own conscience. I shall be retreating into myself, in contemplation and immediate dialogue with God, but I do not intend on leaving you unattended. Measures are being taken and a new ordained minister will come help you while I'm gone."

"Do not worry," he says, taking a look at the whole church. Right in the back, Frank feels the priest's eyes on his own for a second. Despite the fact that Father Way is looking elsewhere, Frank feels slightly uneasy, because it all goes back to what he heard the skinny brother ask Father Way about a kid... Father Way is still talking, though.

"I'll be praying every single day for this community, my community, for you who have watched me grow as a child and later in adulthood. I hope you do too. May God be with you. Thank you." He finishes with a confident smile, but retreats immediately from the pulpit. His shoulders slump down a little and, despite the distance between this seat and the altar, Frank can perfectly imagine that he's not smiling anymore.

Now that Father Way's little speech is over and Frank has time to reflect on the words he just heard, he realizes that it was a very emotional moment. His heart is beating fast and he's worried about this. Father Way had never said anything about leaving the community and had never showed any doubts on his calling and beliefs, so Frank doesn't understand. Has he done something wrong? Well, Frank obviously kissed him, but Father Way did mention that he's had personal issues to resolve, so a simple kiss can't be the sole cause for all of this.

The service is over now, with Father Clarence saying a prayer to help Father Way meet his calling again and, then, the final blessing. "Thanks be to God," Frank whispers and crosses himself, hearing the recessional hymn but not even paying attention to what is being sung. He's thinking of Father Way's decision and the brief part of the conversation Frank heard on Friday. He can't get it off his mind and he hopes he has a chance to ask Father Way about it.

In the vestry, however, while hardly anybody goes there on every other Sunday, there is a rather long line of people there, calling for Father Way in unison and saying prayers in his name. It's very creepy and Frank frowns upon it, but he takes a seat in the corner and waits for his family's turn to meet with the priest.

Father Way's eyes find his sometimes, but his solemn expression and the cordial smile he shows to people never change. It's automatic and it actually makes Frank more curious and worried. From this corner, he can hear Father Way answering question after question, saying it's a personal matter that he can't talk about any further, stating that there is too much at stake where he's standing at the moment, including his abilities to preach and stand before the community, and admitting that it's a personal crisis that he must solve by distancing himself from the church.