Shadow Claw: The Life Story - The Fifth Chapter

Ch. 19 - A Cold Christmas

I am so very sorry for being late with recent chapters and James has not been too active, so I shall apologize for that too. James shall have his comeback. :3

"Professor Slughorn." Filch rasped, his eyes alight with torturous fire, "I found the boy and his accomplice lurking in an upstairs corridor. He claims to have been invited to your party and have been delayed in setting out. Did you issue him with an invitation?"

Malfoy yanked away from the Squib's grip, but Jenny stayed as she was, her head bowed and her scarlet striped hair dribbling over her face. "Alright! I wasn't invited. I was gatecrashing, happy?" He said angrily, looking slightly ashamed for a reason I did not know. I was going to leave, I was going to go after Shade and get on my knees and beg for his forgiveness, but this drama was rather curious, and I was still bitter towards Jenny.

"He's with me. I-It's my fault, my idea, I mean." Jenny spoke up, and then the attention sort of died away. Malfoy and Jenny were snatched away by Professor Snape, and then I left - I had to go and prepare to leave Hogwarts for Christmas. I was not going to face my demons and return to the Clan during the break, and perhaps I would get some advice from Mrs Weasley.

Christmas Break: One Day Later

I was curled in the corner of the warm, cosy confines of The Burrow. Tobias and Snowy had returned with their father to the Clan, and I had received multiple letters from Shade, none of which I had opened or replied to. James was sleeping beside previous Professor Lupin, on the floor with the rest of his family - Millie, who was cuddling George, Remus and Lupin the twins, and Otto, who was making more paper chains, despite the complaints that there were already too many. He was a rather adorable piece of work, I had to admit.

I had not been listening to anything Ron and Harry were saying about Unbreakable Vows, or the painful singing of Celestina Warbeck on the radio, for I was sulking inside myself, my wings shuffling now and again and gently touching the sides of paper-chains that Ginny had set around the whole living room, an explosion of colour. I glanced briefly out of the window to see the landscape coated in a thick, white blizzard that raged in a flurry of whirlwinds.

Lupin began speaking with Harry, and I turned round so that my face could not be seen and nobody could talk to me. Mrs Weasley gave me a strained smile though, "Shadow, would you like some dinner?" I shook my head, despite the growling in my long-empty stomach. "No, thank you, Mrs Weasley." I replied politely, trying my best not to think about Sirius. He had just come to mind, and it was making me want to get drunk and forget everything. I noticed Jenny sitting in a quiet corner, staring into space; I wondered what she was thinking about.

I was losing everybody I cared about. Shade, Snowy and Tobias, Sirius, Jenny and- Lupin mentioned a name and James began to cry. "Fenrir Greyback turned James." The old Professor murmured very softly, ruffling James' hair soothingly. James crept over to me, sniffling, and hid under my wing. "You'll be alright, James." I uttered, nudging his head with a soft touch. He wanted revenge on Greyback, and though I could not give it to him, I sure wished that one day he got what he wanted.

"Shadow you should eat." James poked my ribs and I shuddered. I hadn't eaten in days, and I was much too skinny already. I settled my head between my paws, "Later, James."

He shook his head violently, "No, you need to eat now." He scolded me and I was surprised by his courage. I peered at him with narrowed eyes, "Let me worry about myself, James. Get some sleep." He opened his mouth but I let out a sharp, cutting snarl. The room's noise dulled, but there was still no silence. "Get some sleep." I spotted Otto crying in the background, reaching for his brother. Lupin picked him up and he quietened gradually.

I got up with a shake of my fur, stalking up the stairs of The Burrow and reaching the very top after depositing gifts into each stocking and sending Nova, Tobias, Snowy and Shade their presents via owl. I settled on a banister with my tail hanging, twitching from side to side. I tucked in my wings and closed my eyes, and yet the nightmares in my dreams seemed so much better than the current reality.

Morning

The frost outside was still severe, but the blizzard had died, and only small flakes fell like tears. I awoke to a cosy stocking positioned between my paws. I shifted back carefully after stretching out like a domestic feline; the fluffy, striped sock contained a crimson bandanna from James, a delicate silver chain with a Claw claw charm from James, a preserved speckled white rose from Snowy and Tobias, a box of Weasley's Wizard Wheezes sweets, two sets of four knitted socks for my kittens from Mrs Weasley, an aromatherapy diffuser with jasmine, lavender and saffron scents from Nova, and finally a present from Shade that I held in my hands for a long while before opening it.

There were two main gifts; one, a bottle of the Clan's ale that we both loved so very much - still do - and two, a hand-made dream catcher with raven feathers and the centre circle picture resembled a Blood Claw and a Shadow Claw looking to the skies with the northern lights above. Tears pooled in my eyes as I brushed my fingertips over the silky material. There was a note attached to the side and I peeled it off to read the words.

Come home, Shadow.

I miss you.

I love you, and I always have.

We're both in the wrong here, my love.

Come home, Shadow.

My breath caught in my throat and wouldn't swallow down. I let out a strangled sob; I wanted my mate, and I wanted my babies. I had to go home, and I had to fix us.