Darkness Within Her Soul

Chapter Two

"Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality. " ~ Edgar Allan Poe 

"And that students is why Romeo and Juilet was the greatest love story of its time........" My teacher Mr. Jensen said rather boldly with a bit of a pause. "Any questions on your assignment?"

I faded back into my zone. I shifted my gaze back out to the window. I saw him leaning on the oak outside.  I knew he wasn't real. He knew he wasn't alive anymore. But I saw him daily. He never moved, he never said anything; he didn't even look at me. He just stood there. An I just watched him.  I should have found him and told him I was sorry. I could have confessed I was wrong. Maybe his soul would go away and the darkness in mine would fade or cease to be.

I was a coward and he wasn't real.

Class was almost over. It was about twenty minutes until the very end of all this blabbing about love and tragedy. I could tell them all about tragedy. I could show them all about it. The mask I once wore no longer showed any happiness towards anything. I dropped everything. I was once one of those bubbly happy people. Popular. Cheerleader. Loved by all. Hated and envied by some. I gave it all away.  I cease to see the point behind it all.

The moment, that people talk about before you die. That bit where your whole life flashes and you see all that you have done and made be. When it happens, it changes everything. Things you once found normal. Seem like a colossal waste of time and space.

If I could go back, I would.

If I could go back and change my choice I would.

Mistakes can kill.

The door to the classroom opened, and someone's loud feet stomped inside.  I didn't shift my gaze to look like everybody else did. Whoever it was didn't matter to me. I continued to watch out the window. He stood their, watching me back.  I expected him to wave, or so mouth something at me like he use to in the hallways, like we did when we were apart. He'd mouth happy bits at me and id mouth happy bits at him.  We had our own little language with our eyes. We had been together for such a long time, that his loss was like I lost myself. I didn't know who I was anymore. I couldn't be me without him.

The loud thump of the person sitting down in the empty chair in front of me startled me a bit. Nobody had sit in that seat in months. If I wanted to get really accurate, two months, six days and forty seven minutes. Since that chair had a warm body in it. I didn't want to move my head or my eyes to see who sat in the seat. I was too scared to see it be him. I was to worried it was him and this was all some sick nightmare my mind had created to ruin my sanity. I didn't dare look. I half hoped it was him. I half hoped it was all some kind of sick twisted dream. I knew it wasn't. I knew the person in front of me couldn't be him.

I pried my eyes away from the window and briefly to look at the head of the person in front of me. Hoping it was just somebody who transferred into this horrible class. Somebody who obviously wanted to be in here. A lover of love and all that jazz.

When my eyes landed on the person in front of me I wasn't surprised that it was a boy. Well, maybe more a teenage boy. When I think of how we describe the male gender, I think of boy as a term for all children who are male. Male boys from birth to say middle school age.  Then you have "guys" those teenage boys. Guys aren't adults but they aren't boys. And then you have "Men", Adult males.  Boys, guys, men. All describe the male gender but each mean something different. 

This was a Guy. A teenage guy. It surely wasn't a teenage girl. Females were so much better to categorize then males were. Little Girls, Girls, and Women, then you had the different types, wither you were a lady or not.

His hair was dark. It wasn't long but then it wasn't short either. I stared at it for a while. It looked like hands should be running their fingers thru it daily. He had hair girls longed to have. It wasn't straight but it wasn't curly. I had to stop looking before he turned around.  I quickly took my eyes back to looking out the window and noticed he was gone. Must have gone to torment someone else's soul then.

For what felt like forever I watched car drive by the school. I saw women pushing baby strollers. I saw more women pushing strollers with little groups of kids trailing behind. I saw old men walking. I watched squirrels chasing each other. I watched cat chase squirrels. It seemed like forever, but my gaze moved again back to his head only this time I didn't see the back of his head, what I saw this time.....

Was his bright warm smiling face, deep soulful eyes, and dimpled cheeks. His features seemed familiar. It was a odd feeling, the feeling like I knew him. It couldn't be possible. I didn't know him. I felt like I did, but I knew that couldn't be possible.

It was a déjà type feeling. I felt like I had done this before. Maybe long ago, but I had done it and he was there..

I looked back outside and he was still gone. Guess he really was out bothering someone else's soul at the moment. I wouldn't expect him back until later when I felt him around.

My mind quickly shifted as did my eyes when I heard his voice. It was smooth and a little deep. It made me think of the beach.  I could smell the ocean, and feel the white sand. Hear the crashing of waves upon the rocks and shore. His voice was smooth like that. Like butter and cake mix after you whipped it around with a beater.

It was the kind of voice you had to listen too. The kind you could fall asleep too. It was perfect. I didn't understand why it was talking to me.

He said "Hello" And I did what I was unsure I would ever do again.

I said "Hello" too.

My eyes drifted back to the window, I longed to see him again. I longed for his forgiveness. I needed him to be there to watch me. I wanted him there so I could watch him and know he was there. Even though I knew he wasn't alive. I wanted him to be.

I sat there for what felt like forever.

Until the bell rang and it would end this slow torment. I had to move my body from this location to the next.  I got points for being here didn't I? I didn't complete my work, but I did everything else. I didn't pay attention to the words my teachers needed to utter daily, but I was present in my body.  My mind was gone but my body was there everyday.

That had to count for something. 

Enjoy this story?

Download it's ebook at: http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/aliciamorgan

Decicated to:

Wattpad Member:  Millie_

Her stories are the ones i just cant put down about love. Im not a big believer in love myself. But reading her stories make me hope for love in the future. Her stories always suprise me.