Darkness Within Her Soul

Chapter Fifteen

Everything that is done in the world is done by hope. ~ Martin Luther King Jr.

In memory of today 1/20/14

The next few days past by, in a large blur. I was happy to see my parents back home and it seemed that they noticed the change in me as well. They weren't watching me with so much interest anymore. I got up on Friday to find Aiden at the breakfast table with my parents. They were smiling and he was laughing at something my father had said. My little sister Myla was sitting next to him smiling and shoveling her cereal into her mouth while my brother Larson was mashing his food into his plate. I wondered where Melissa was, but her being the oldest of my younger siblings she usually didn't have the quickness we all normally had in the morning.

Myla was seven. Larson was twelve, and Melissa was thirteen.

Aiden would remember them when they were little. Our times all playing on the beach me trying to ditch Melissa because she was always like my little shadow. She was around eight when we were best friends. Her sweet fine hair, then of a little girl was now that of a curly mop.

I wasn't always the most pleasant person these days but Melissa had something going on at middle school. I had to remember to grill Larson and find out what was going on with Melissa before the year was over. Before something went down that would permanently change Melissa for ever, and then, I could add another taint to my soul.

My mother was in the kitchen flipping pancakes on the stove while my father took up his normal spot at the head of the table with his newspaper folded and his coffee black. He cut up in pancakes always up into tiny little squares. Always he dipped them into his syrup before putting them quickly into his mouth, not to get his shirt dirty. My Father was a creature of habit and his habit was always the same.

My mother was your knock off Betty Crocker unless she had to be at work.

Working for herself left her time to do the things she wanted to do unless someone had some kind of party planning problem. Her being the only Party planner in town kept my mother busy and tight on the gossip circuit. I was sure she felt sick by the things people said about me, but knowing her she did her part to make them eat their words.

Over all my hatred and sadness my mother tried I guess. She gave up recently but I'm sure she did what she thought was the best even if I didn't want to admit it.

I didn't want to be seeing Dr Perkins, but I was sure it would cause so much more pain if I didn't. More pain in my mother then I was sure she could bare.

I didn't fully accept that everything wasn't my fault, but I was working on it.

My mother looked over from the stove and saw me standing in the doorway. I had already dressed for school and I guess I put a tiny bit of effort into it today. It was a step in the right direction. I needed to see Dr. Perkins after School today. I'd try to put it off normally as many days as I could. With them being home and Aiden being here I didn't dread it half as much.

I knew Dr. Perkins would have more questions, ask me to speak with the police again. Give them the answers before she had to herself, if she could I wasn't even sure. I didn't know how far that whole Doctor Patient Privacy thing went. You know, what with my details telling the full story of his death. I felt responsible for it, even thought it wasn't my full fault I wasn't sure if it actually was or not.

I didn't want to go to jail, but if it was what I deserved then id accept my punishment.

Aiden looked over at me while he was laughing at some thing my father pointed out, I wasn't really listening to I didn't hear the conversation I was kind of in my own world, only thing one was closer to home.