Destiny (Killua x Reader)

My ✕ True ✕ Feelings

Your P.O.V
I ran and ran as fast as my legs could carry me. My legs wobbled with every step I took, and my shoulders have never felt so heavy. But even so, I knew that I had to chase after him.

I had something to tell him. At this point, I still haven't figured out what it was. But I knew for sure that I couldn't let him go like this.

---------------------------------------

"Killua!"
You jumped as you yelled out his name, stumbling over the stairs and flying towards him. Before you could turn your heel, you fell onto him, causing a slight headache.

When you regained your senses, you raised your head, only to feel a tint of warmth at the tip of your nose. You opened your eyes and leaned back slightly to reveal the distance between Killua's face and yours.

"Uh—"
A small blush consumed your cheeks.

"I-I'm sorry!"

Almost instantly, he grabbed onto shoulders and looked at you straight in the eye.
"Are you hurt!?"

Your eyes widened.
"Eh? No, I'm okay..."

He sighed in relief as his grip of your shoulders loosened.

"That's good..."
He murmured as he turned away, his lips curling into a somewhat relieved but amiable smile.

---------------------------------------

Your P.O.V
Through his soft murmuring voice, I heard the tint of a smile. I felt the heat rise in my cheeks. Only then did I notice just how wildly my heart was beating.

"Just by him speaking to me... just by him touching me... just by him smiling for me... why does it make my chest feel so tight?"

You know why already, don't you? I mentally scolded myself.

Yes, this person was special to me. I wanted to stay by his side. I wanted his smile to be directed towards me. I wanted to be caressed in the warmth of his arms forever.

"Ever since we met 4 years ago, I've always..."

---------------------------------------

His eyes were grim, and there was a sudden chill of melancholy about him. I opened my mouth to speak, but no words came out.

"What are you spacing out for? Go back to him already. Here, I'll stop holding onto you. Just get up already and go."

Killua averted his eyes from you, his bangs brushing down, just slightly covering his face.
"Don't get any closer to me... I beg you..."

He made a face you couldn't interpret, and looked away.
"I'm not the one you should be standing beside. The place you should be at... that's where he—"

His thoughts were disturbed by a slight sense of pressure pushing against his chest.

"Wh—"
Your touch caused a tint of blush to spread across his face.

"Eh, uh... uhh... wh-what are you doing... g-get away from me..."

---------------------------------------

Killua's P.O.V
"Stop it. Stop getting closer to me. Stop touching me. Stop giving me hope..."

The soft touch of her face, lightly pressing against my chest... it was unbearable. My heart pounded in my chest, threatening to burst out onto the floor.

I wanted to caress her cheeks, her arms, her head, her back, her entire body. It took every ounce of my willpower to restrain myself from pulling her into a tight embrace.

"I already make the resolution to let you go... so why are you coming back to me? Please, just go away. I don't want to feel that pain swelling up inside my chest again. Please, I just want to see your smile. That's all I need..."

I had never, so desperately, struggled to escape from the iron grip of desire.

Your P.O.V
His body was so warm, so reassuring, so comforting. I nuzzled my face against his chest and simply enjoyed the warmth of being so near to him.

"How can I convey these feelings?"

I had no words to tell him how I felt. Anything would have been too small to encompass all my emotions. So instead, I tried something else.

I kept silent as I laid my head comfortably on his chest. I didn't move, I didn't want to. I simply wanted to be touching him—our bodies so close—I wanted to connect with him.

I wanted to know how he feels. I wanted him to know I feel.

I could feel his heart beating at the same pace as mine, gradually going faster and faster.

His body was heating up too, it felt warmer than before. I wanted to know what emotions were dwelling within him at this very moment.

---------------------------------------

You felt a pair of arms wrap around your waist. The moment his hands reached your back, you froze as you felt your face heated up.

Killua didn't say anything.

"Please... stop it... when you're this close to me, I can't help myself... I get conceited. I get selfish. I start thinking that I might be forgiven... and that maybe, just maybe, you would allow me to hold you like this."
The thoughts resonated throughout his mind.

Killua broke the embrace.
"What the heck are you doing? Go back to Kurapika already. You love him, don't you? Then you shouldn't be with me right now."

You were bewildered.

"Love? Kurapika? What was he talking about? I love Kurapika... of course. He was my important comrade, almost like my real family. But Killua, I love you too. And by now I can tell that it's a different kind of love."

You lifted yourself up slightly so that your face was directly before Killua's.

You gave him what you hoped to be a steady, reassuring smile.

"Are you sure you're not misunderstanding something? Because the person I love is before me right now."

The moment the words were out of your mouth, his eyes went wide.