The Only Hope For Me Is You [My Chemical Romance]

Chapter 19: Shouting, Screaming, Sitting, Staring

Gerard’s room was dark, not that I hadn’t been expecting it, but the sheer lack of sight I had within the room took me by surprise, after the bright, harsh light of the landing. Blinking to gain a little focus in my eyes, I hastily scanned the room in search of Gerard.

He was hard to notice, curled up on his bed, surrounded by the clutter of the rest of his untidy room. In fact, it looked as if his room had been the scene of a brutal murder and not the bedroom of a teenager. His face lay into the mattress, so that only his raven hair and a small section of his pale cheeks were visible over the soft fabric.

He must’ve of heard me quietly enter his room because he shifted uncomfortably into the bed, as if he wanted the mattress to swallow him up. This plan, however, wasn’t working very well.

I cautiously pressed the door into the frame behind me and continued to step slowly into the room, my feet careful to dodge stray comics and items of worn clothing that lay strewn across the floor. I reached his bed and pushed myself up onto the surface, so that my body was next to the squirming Gerard’s feet.

I sat in silence for a few minutes, as Gerard’s shuffles gradually subsided and he lay still. I could see his chest rising and falling at a fast rate, in a hypnotic rhythm.

“Gerard?” I asked, after a few minutes of me staring at his heart beat rocket through his body, like a stalker.

“Dana?” Gerard asked, sitting up a little, so that I could see red blotches covering the skin around his eyes and the smudges of old make-up lined his cheeks, which allowed the faint, ugly purple bulge to glow slightly. Despite his dreary appearance, his hazel eyes seemed to gleam and shine. “I thought you were Mikey.” Gerard spoke honestly, looking down at his rather uninteresting lap in slight embarrassment. 

“Well I’m not,” I replied, chuckling slightly.

“What’s up?” Gerard asked me, pushing himself up so that he sat upright, next to me on the bed.

“The ceiling?” I retorted, feeling rather witty and ingenious for lightening up what seemed to be a rather sullen mood.

“Dana,” Gerard murmured in a more serious tone, which shocked me a little. “I’m serious, what do you want?” He asked grumpily, folding his arms.

“I wanted to see what was wrong.” I told him, looking deep into his bright hazel eyes. “So Gerard.  What’s up?” I asked, mimicking him friendlily.

“Nothing Dana, just leave it.” Gerard whispered, barely audible, a faint pink glow was visible on his cheek, blending well with the large purple bruise that lay there too.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No! I’m fine. Just leave me alone, okay?” Gerard growled and turned so that he was facing the opposite way, the back of his head facing me.

“Gee…” I continued, fumbling to pull his hand into mine, in some type of comfort.

“Dana! Just shut the fuck up! I’m Fucking fine.” Gerard spat, standing up to tower over me. “Are you completely stupid? I said leave me the FUCK alone! You stupid dumb bitch” He screamed at me.

“I was just trying to be friendly.” I cried in terror, trying to push back on the bed away from Gerard, but his strong hand held onto my wrist tightly, holding me securely in place.

“I don’t need friendly! I don’t need friends! I don’t fucking need you!” He boomed back at me, clutching my wrist tighter. It was sure to leave a fascinating bruise in the morning.

“You’re hurting me Gee.” I whispered silently. I began to twist my wrist, causing extreme pain to shoot up my right arm, as if I had just been shot by a gun and not trying to free my wrist from someone who was supposed to be my friend. I managed to get my wrist free, earning a grunt from Gerard.