YOU ARE READING

Redemption From Lemonade | Completed

Fanfiction

"I had my ups and downs, but I always find the inner strength to pull myself up. I was served lemons, but I made Lemonade."

#anger #beyonce #bgkc #completed #formation #intuition #lemonade #redemption #shawncarter #sorry #wattys2017

Denial

1.1K 42 0

by lauranotlondyn

by lauranotlondyn

Chapter 3: Denial, Hold Up

Denial- the action of declaring something to be untrue.

I tried to change, closed my mouth more, tried to be soft, prettier, less awake. Fasted for 60 days, wore white, abstained from mirrors, abstained from sex, slowly did not speak another word. In that time my hair, I grew past my ankles. I slept on a mat on the floor. I swallowed a sword. I levitated. Went to the basement, confessed my sins, and was baptized in a river. I got on my knees and said amen and said I mean.

I whipped my own back and asked for dominion at your feet. I threw myself into a volcano. I drank the blood and drank the wine. I sat alone and begged and bent at the waist for God. I crossed myself and thought I saw the devil. I grew thickened skin on my feet I bathed in bleach and plugged my menses with pages from the holy book, but still inside me, coiled deep, was the need to know... are you cheating on me?

Cheating? Are you cheating on me?

Hold Up
Hold up, they don't love you like I love you
Slow down, they don't love you like I love you
Back up, they don't love you like I love you
Step down, they don't love you like I love you
Can't you see there's no other man above you?
What a wicked way to treat the girl that loves you
Hold up, they don't love you like I love you
Oh, down, they don't love you like I love you

Something don't feel right
Because it ain't right
Especially comin' up after midnight
I smell your secret, and I'm not too perfect
To ever feel this worthless
How did it come down to this?
Going through your call list
I don't wanna lose my pride, but I'mma fuck me up a bitch
Know that I kept it sexy, and know I kept it fun
There's something that I'm missing, maybe my head for one

What's worse, lookin' jealous or crazy?
Jealous or crazy?
Or like being walked all over lately, walked all over lately
I'd rather be crazy

Hold up, they don't love you like I love you
Slow down, they don't love you like I love you
Back up, they don't love you like I love you
Step down, they don't love you like I love you
Can't you see there's no other man above you?
What a wicked way to treat the girl that loves you
Hold up, they don't love you like I love you
Slow down they don't love you like I love you

Let's imagine for a moment that you never made a name for yourself
Or mastered wealth, they had you labeled as a king
Never made it out the cage, still out there movin' in them streets
Never had the baddest woman in the game up in your sheets
Would they be down to ride?
No, they used to hide from you, lie to you
But y'all know we were made for each other
So I find you and hold you down
Me sing se

Oh it is such a shame
You let this good love go to waste
I always keep the top tier, 5 star
Backseat lovin' in the car
Like make that wood, like make that wood
Holly like a boulevard

What's worse, lookin' jealous or crazy?
Jealous or crazy?
Or like being walked all over lately, walked all over lately
I'd rather be crazy

I hop up out the bed and get my swag on
I look in the mirror, say, "What's up?"
What's up, what's up, what's up
I hop up out the bed and get my swag on
I look in the mirror, say, "What's up?"
What's up, what's up, what's up