When You Left Me

3

Jasmine

My Own Worst Enemy

I walked slowly back to the school even while knowing that I was going to be late because quite frankly, I was frightened of facing the emotions that were bound to unlock when I saw Laurent. When I did finally make it back to campus and started up the entrance stairs, I caught of glimpse of myself in the large glass panel doors. I was wearing a white slightly loose hoodie with my grey sweats and greyish black nike high tops. My hair was frazzled from the heat and the sudden running. It almost looked liked copper wires let loose from an electric circuit.
I heaved a heavy breath, feeling so inadequate to Jessica who looked every bit the model that she now was.

"No wonder Laurent left you, I wouldn't stay with someone like you over someone like Jessica either."

My low self esteem kicked in with the voice from before acting as it's back up, throwing insults at my mentality so painful and vicious I wouldn't ever need any enemies.

After all, I was my own worst enemy. No one could bring me any lower than I've haven't done myself.

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High School

I sat in the girls locker room, afraid to come out due to screaming yet hushed whispers swirling around inside my head. They kept speaking to me in a repetitive manner, telling me I was worthless and no man would look at mr as a friend, let alone a woman.

I tried to fight the voices back with words that I thought I truly felt, speaking as to how I was only sixteen, I didn't need or want a man that way. But the voices were stronger than me and screeched their vicious tongues at me in a berating manner.

"Oh, but you do darling.
That French boy is all you ever think of. Pity he had no interest in you other than your voice."

I cried out at the stinging truth and threw my gym shoes at the mirror to erase the image that stared back with the tear streaked cheeks as the shards flew when the mirror cracked and broke into tiny glass shrapnel.

I didn't really care if I was cut or even if I lost too much blood, who would care? Who would love a fat antisocial nobody? These were the last questions I thought of when the room went dark.

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I shook my head to prevent the thoughts from going any further into my distraught past. I wasn't in a good place mentally back then and I always felt ashamed when I thought back on how hard and brutal I was to myself. It never ceases to amaze me how meeting Laurent back then changed me so much. But I couldn't linger on those thoughts.

I walked to the music department where chorus was currently being held. I just hoped I could make it through this in one piece. Maybe Laurent wouldn't even recognize me or perhaps he didn't even know who I was anymore. I didn't fail to realize how my heart squeezed from both thoughts. I sighed once more then entered class. My vision blurred a little as I seem to have come to face with a brick wall on the other side of the door.

"Oh my bad , I wasn't paying attention where I was going. Are you okay?", I heard a thick deep French accent ask. I closed my eyes in horror whilst saying a silent prayer. Please don't let this be Laurent please. I looked up into his face and stopped breathing.

End Chapter

I'm getting a slight writers block already 😔 opinions?