When You Left Me

Im not going anywhere

Laurent

When the nurse entered with the wheelchair for Jasmine, I kind of went into a small panic. What if when she saw the twins, it would hurt so much that she'd never really forgive me. I didn't want her to see them even though I knew it was needed for closure. Truth be told, I didn't want to see them. I didn't want to see their little bodies laying still, not a drop of life in them. I already said goodbye to one baby, now I have to say goodbye to two more. I was trying to get it together as I helped the nurse get Jasmine in the wheelchair. Her eyes were so distant. I just wanted to take all her pain away. I know that if it hurt for me to lose them after only knowing about them for a few hours, I could only imagine what Jasmine was feeling. I was just going to have to be strong and be at her side no matter what. My pain will have to be placed on the back burner.

I pushed Jasmine in her wheelchair as the nurse and Dr.Harris guided us to the morgue.

"Jasmine... Are you sure about this? I know that you're hurting but won't this hurt even more?" I was worried about her mental state. She just kept looking ahead, not even acknowledging that I spoke. I sighed and just kept on pushing. When we got to the morgue, all I could feel was death. It was like it hung in the air like icicles in winter. I heard Jasmine take a sharp intake of breath. I was ready to just roll her back to the room. I think she felt that because she quickly said.

"No don't Laurent I have to do this. I need to tell my babies goodbye... Please Laurent I have to."

"Okay petit fluer, I understand." Dr.Harris opened a door, and gestured for us to go on through. Before I could push Jasmine in the room, she freaked out crying. She pleaded with me to take her back to the room, tears streaming down her face. I complied, sending a apologetic look to Dr.Harris. When we made it back to her room and Jasmine was laid back in bed, she was silent.

"Are you okay?" No answer.

"Jasmine, talks to me." No answer again.

"Jasmine, fucking talk to me. You're scaring me!"

"I'm tired Laurent, let me sleep. So please go away." her voice was so sad. I was going to leave but her past mental issues stayed me right in that chair.

"Non petit, if you want to rest you can do so while I'm here. I haven't been here for you in the last months and yes I have been stupid. But no more mon amour, I'm not leaving your side again. You are stuck with me for good. In this time of pain and lost, I will love you even when you don't love me. I'm here Jasmine" I took her hand in mine, feeling the cold from her hand seeping into my warm ones. I took that as a metaphor, I will warm her broken and frozen heart. Jasmine started crying albeit very silently. I will make sure we make it through this baby. I will make sure I spend our lives making you happy again. I said these words to myself, already forming a plan in my mind. I got up and got into the bed with Jasmine, ignoring her attempts to push me away. I wrapped my arms around her, encompassing her small frame into my much larger one. She cried into my chest as I stroked her hair.

"Do not worry mon amour, you won't be alone."

( End Chapter )

I'm sorry I couldn't write the scene of her seeing the babies in the morgue. I was to hurt to do it. This story has a lot of me in it and to be honest I wouldn't be able to see my babies that way. This chapter is choppy and terrible. I will be making much happier chapters next.