When You Left Me

Clowned

( Jasmine )

"Eleni, do you have a key?" She turned to look at me, her face full of sadness. "No, but I can probably get one from the front desk. Should I?" I stared down at the floor, my heart crumbling and my mind in tatters. But I didn't come all this way just to run again. "Yes please, I'll just wait here while you do." Eleni hesitated for a second but then ran off to go get the key. I could hear a woman's moans floating from the door but I couldn't hear Laurent. He wasn't exactly quiet during sex so that was weird. I leaned on the wall and just endured the sounds. I tried to keep the tears from falling but I was failing miserably. A ragged sob broke from me and I slid down the wall to my knees, cradling my face in my hands. I was to late. I knew that he might've slept with other women but to not only meet one but also catch him with another hurt. It felt like my soul was being crushed by reality. I moved my hand to reach inside the pocket of my pants and pulled out my medication. I was suppose to take it mixed with water but I felt like the voice would return if I didn't take it now. I uncapped the little grey bottle and used the built in medicine syringe to drop some on my tongue. I made a sound at the bitter taste and screwed the cap back on. I noticed the piece of paper in my hand from when I took the medicine out and remembered the waiter. Maybe I should've just let Laurent be and move on? Perhaps the reason why so many problems arose for us was because we just wasn't meant to be. I pulled my knees into my arms and rested my head in them. I closed off my hearing and went into my mind, trying my hardest to ignore the sounds. It took Eleni about ten minutes to come back with the key and in that time, the sounds stopped and I was utterly depressed. She came over to me and leaned down. "Do you want to do this or should we leave? I don't want you to subject yourself to something that will cause you so much pain Jasmine." I felt this urge to call Larry but I didn't want him to have to worry about this when he should be spending time with his child. I used my hands to push myself up from the floor and took a deep breath. "No I don't want to do this but I need to Eleni. I can't keep running from everything. I will go in there and either Laurent and me will fix us or we will go out separate ways. Either way, this is it. You should go, I don't want anything to make you look bad and cause issues for your job. I'll be alright." Her frown showed how sad she was about the situation but I refused to budge on this. She handed me the key and went to leave but she kept checking back at me every second. I waved goodbye to her and steeled myself against what I would see.

( Laurent )

Once again, I found myself doing something fucking stupid. I didn't even enjoy it and I couldn't orgasm. I stared at the naked woman in my bed and felt dirty. I needed a shower in hot chlorine. Why did I do this? Just to cry and bitch about my pathetic life? I hated that no matter what I did, I thought of Jasmine. I hated that even though I had a gorgeous woman in my hotel bed that I couldn't even perform correctly because her face always warped into Jasmine's. In the middle of it, Bella voices changed to Jasmine's and she asked why do I hurt her so. I nearly lost it but still I continued. Why?! I needed to talk to Larry but I knew once I told him about what happened, he would be pissed as fuck. Probably call me a fucking dumbass. I stood up, "you should leave now Bella, it's just not going to work." Her eyes reflected hurt and her pretty lips formed a frown. "But why Laurent? Was it not good for you?" I pulled my pants on and shook my head. "No it wasn't, but it's not your fault it's mine. No one has been good for me in a long time." " i can't believe you pendejo! You just used me for sex?! Puto basterdo!" I hated that I used the girl like that but I didn't force her to give it up. "Yeah yeah, I've heard it all. I didn't force you to open your legs so stop with the innocent shit. Remember that you got on your knees first sweetheart." She stood up and slapped me, the hit ringing out. I softly caressed my reddening cheek as she continued to curse me out in Spanish and she searched for her clothes. I walked over to the sliding glass doors again and gazed out at the city. I was a bastard. I deserved to be cursed out and to be hit but it didn't matter to me. None of them did except for the one I yearned for. I heard the access sound of the door click and wondered why. I turned back around to see Bella still searching for her top so I knew it wasn't her. The door opened slowly and what I saw made me rejoice and despair all at once. "Jasmine?!"

End Chapter