Don't take my memories~Drier

Chapter Fifteen-Nameless Faces

The liquor burned my throat as I gulped down the full contents of the large pitcher, yet in my state the burning sensation only spurred on my efforts and after an instant of putting down the mug, I found myself craving more of the substance, despite the dreadful side effects that would come with it. In the back of my mind, I was aware of the fact that I shouldn't be doing this, that I would have to be up early for a forgotten job in the morning, yet that didn't stop me from placing my pitcher back of the bar and demanding yet another drink from the gruff bartender, who looked a little uneasy at my request but poured me another drink nonetheless, eyeing me suspiciously. I knew why, I knew what state I was in and I knew that if i stood up, I probably wouldn't be able to keep on my feet, but in the confusing swirl that was my mind, this was the only solace I could find and drinking was the only thing I knew how to do right.

I had been so strong for ages yet with the flick of a switch somehow everything on my life had changed for the worst, and I found myself back on the dreaded bar stool, drinking myself into oblivion, hoping the amber liquid would help me blur out all the faces and images I wanted to forget. As usual, my plan had been thwarted as no matter how much I wished to forget them, I couldn't. The image of their faces- some mad and some undeniably sad- Swam around in my head, causing me to almost scream out in frustration. The image of Laurence and the rage that had sparked in his eyes just two nights prior, the image of the fearsome doctor Luke as he threatened me, making my life at the hospital a waking nightmare, the image of my parents and the tears that had hung in their eyes when I informed them of my big move to London, the image of all my peers who had constantly put me down throughout highschool, informing at every opportunity that i would never make it, that I would never become a doctor...and the face of Drew, the tears that had hung on his eyes when I cleaned out the cuts on his arm, the small smile that protruded his features when I had promised him it would all be okay.

Drew's face had made my the saddest of all as out of all the people I had screwed over, as he was the most innocent one and he was the only one who still believed, thanks to me. I had promised him that it would all be okay, that I would find him a way out of the hellish hospital somehow, acting as though I had a plan. I had nothing.

The image of him so upset shouldn't have caused me so much grief, yet for some unknown reason, seeing him hurt always managed to spark up an intense feeling deep inside me that I never fully understood, and I doubted I ever would. Whenever those tears protruded in Drew's eyeline and his face contorted into a heartbreaking expression of pain, my heart would break a little bit more everytime, until this time, when it had fully shattered at the sight of Drew's self inflicted wounds. That had made me realise the brutal extent of the younger boys pain and loneliness, and had filled me with utter rage when I realised I could do nothing about it. Drew didn't deserve this, that much I knew, yet the way to help him seemed to grow more uncertain by the day as he drifted dirtier away from me, completely lost in his own bubble of sadness.

"H-hello there" I heard a small voice squeak from beside me vaguely and I sighed lightly as I twisted on my barstool, wondering who would possibly be bothering me in a place like this, where most people came to celebrate successes with old friends, rather than to make new ones. The whole night people had left me alone in their pursuit for fun and now that the dingy bar was slowly starting to quieten, due to the late hour, a conversation with an unknown man was the last thing I had expected to happen upon me, let alone wanted.

I just wanted to be alone and drink, why couldn't anyone in this bar accept that?

"What do you want?" I growled threateningly as I took in the dishevelled appearance of the man beside me, who flinched lightly at the harsh tone in my voice. He was perched on the bar stool next to mine and was playing nervously with his long caloysed fingers as he regarded me, his green eyes shy, yet filled with a strange sense of wonder at the same time. Despite the mans apparent height he stooped low in his seat and seemed to cower behind his mop of dark blond hair, on top of which was placed a strange set of brass goggles, unlike anything I had ever seen before. The man had a long, thin face with a chiselled jawbone and his eyes were quick and intelligent, almost as thoig he was trying to subtly asses the danger of talking to me based upon what he saw. Once he decided I was worth taking a chance with, he edged his stool slightly closer to mine, screwing his nose up slightly when breathed on the heavy scent of alcohol I gave off.