Don't take my memories~Drier

Chapter Twenty One-Don't Be Leaving

An;; I'm sorry, this is another sad update (though hopefully not as soul destroying as the last one). Enjoy!
Lucifer xoxo
Luke and Laurence they were the only thoughts that crossed my heavy mind that night, and consequently, I received not a wink of sleep, meaning that by the time the alarm clock sang out its hellish little tune the next morning, I was practically a walking, talking zombie. Once I realised what time it was, I had hurriedly pulled myself up from the cold sheets and got ready for my day, but the actions lacked their usual cheeriness, and I completed each accident without a single word or even a solo, comical singing performance in my daily shower. Instead, I was met with the dreadful silence that came to those living alone and my dangerous, soul destroying thoughts.

Usually a day training at the hospital excited me no end, no matter what my formidable mood, yet today it took all my courage not to ring in sick and hide in the flat all day, watching sad black and white movies, mourning over the sudden departure of my Laurence. I knew that a day spent at the hospital in this mood would be boring, with Luke's constant criticisms and questions regarding Laurence, and for once, I wouldn't even have Drew to go to with my upset. The great doctor had always told me I could go to him with my secrets, and doubtlessly he would know something was wrong as soon as I trudged through the doors and question me relentlessly on it all day long, but I vowed I would not speak about it. Not to him, anyway. He didn't deserve to hear my story, and I sure as hell didn't want his sympathy. He had the life he always wanted and he was clearly content with it, so there was no way he could ever empathise with me or give me the helpful advice I so desperately needed to get me through the next few, torturous days. Instead he would sprout nonsense about moving on and finding someone new for half an hour before harshly telling me to get over it and get on with my studies, like I was supposed to, just like he did. I'm sure he had sacrificed everything he once held dear to him to gain his great position, and once I had vowed I would do the same thing if I had to, but now, after recent events, I wasn't so sure if I could. After all, what's the point of achieving your life long dreams of you had no one there to congratulate you for it?

Sighing quietly, I grabbed the coffees from the top of the bar at Starbucks and hurriedly thanked the barrister before I placed my change on the counter and making my way out of the neat building, not caring about the change. The weather outside the building was hostile and bitter, with the occasional dribble and gale force winds, yet I had been the one elected this morning to collect the hospital staffs morning coffee, meaning I had to brave the walk in the weather. Despite the fact that I had seen the forecast this morning, I hadn't bothered to don a coat before I left the house, meaning that when I finally pushed myself into the shelter the hospital provided, I was throughly soaked and my hair was falling in curly ringlets around my pale face. Usually, it would bother me to appear such a mess in public, but today,the appearance I gave off didn't bother me in the slightest. After all what's the point of looking good if you have no one to look at you, let alone to appreciate the effort you put into your morning routine to look good to them?

Battling away all my negative thoughts, I slouched over to the reception desk and quickly deposited the collection of coffees on the counter, before scurrying off to Lukes office, having to push gently past a few people in my haste to make it there on time. Luke hated it when I was late to work, and- judging by the awful day I could sense looming ahead of me- I wanted to do everything within my power to keep the great doctors anger at bay with me this morning, lest I made an awful mistake in one of his appointments. Luke was lethal when he was angry, that much I took for a fact, and today I was in one of those rare, thunderous moods where I would just scream obbcenties back at him if he started, until I was dragged kicking and screaming from the Victorian premises, with the devastating news that I was no longer able to stay here as a trainee doctor or even study any form of science to do with medicine or the workings of the human body. Still, at least if that happened I'd finally be able to have a drink, I thought to myself bitterly, as I gently knocked on Luke's door and pushed it open, holding the last two remaining steaming drinks close in my hand for Luke and I.