The Little Things ✔️

A guiding hand

Yesterday was incredible, the love of my life told me he felt the same way about as I did to him. I'm probably the most luckiest person alive right now. My life changed because of Mat and for the better to say the least. It's the evening after and I'm back at hell just waiting for the next violent act my dad will throw at my mother. They've been arguing for almost 2 hours and they think I can't hear them but in actual fact I can hear them loud and clear and it's terrifying hearing the shouts the screams the objects being thrown around. It's around 11pm and I just want to sleep. I've been awake for almost 24 hours and I'm shattered but I can't because of the continuous rack it coming from down stairs. I pull out my phone and the artificial light gives a bit of warmth to my black room. I see I have a text from Mat so I open it.
"Hey Al, thank you for last night it meant everything to me. You can always talk to me if you want to. X"
He was so sweet. I decide there's no harm in texting him back even though I know he won't see it till he wakes up I just need to tell someone anybody what's going on behind closed doors I can't keep it a secret any longer... So I text him back.
"It meant everything to me too. I wish you were here right now Mat my parents are arguing again and I'm scared!"
I sit back against my wall and turn off my phone. "Please just stop" I say. I wait there a few more moments and then my phone vibrates as to signal I have a new message. I look down at my phone and realise it's Mat. I read the text. It says: "Al meet me where we were last night X stay safe darling!"
I turn off my phone and as luckily I'm still in clothes I open my window that is about a 2ft drop down to a tree that I can easily climb down. When I'm on the ground I sprint in the direction of the hall and don't slow down until I get there. Once again it's a clear evening so the sky is a smooth black above my head. I push open the creaky door and walk in. Standing at the back of the hall is a very sleepy looking Mat. His hair is ruffled all over his face and he looks all rosy from sleep. Crap. I think I didn't realise that most people would be asleep around 11 and i've just woken him up.
"I'm so sorry I didn't realise you would be asleep!" I say while walking towards him. He smile and when I get to him he pulls me into a warm hug. I nearly fall over with his aroma. It's sweet like flowers but also has that musky smell. But god he's warm like when your baking a cake and you put your back against the over.
"It's fine Al don't worry. Your safe now and I'm happy your here. I'd rather be woken up and come here to make sure your ok than sleep." He says while his lips are against my forehead. A few minutes later I find myself standing on the same roof I was the previous night. The view is still as incredible as it was the night before but there's one other thing that catches my eye that wasn't there before. There's a fairly large couch in the corner of the roof. It's a cream soft fabric with 2 small blue cushions perched on the end. I walk over to it and sit down. The instant view you get it just is mesmerising. Mat walks slowly towards me and sits down on the other side of me with his arms around my waist. He kisses my check and lays his head on my shoulder.
"It's beautiful isn't it." He says tiredly.
"Mat you should really get some sleep." I say in a concerned voice. He looks so tried I really don't want him to pass out. He looks up at me and moves so he's facing me with his hands in mine. Our foreheads are touching and his simply says "Al if this is what it takes let me be the one to bear the pain." And then kisses me once again but on the lips and for a lot longer. God damn he's so perfect I couldn't be more lucky. When we break away he holds me in his arms again and once again we just sit there in each other's company, and I seem to forget every single thing that has happened over the last 17 years of my terrible life. And I've managed to remember all the good pieces. I smile at how beautiful life can be when you take away all the arguments upsets and low points and replace it with the good. But there's still 2 questions burning at the back of my brain. So I ask Mat.
"Mat, you always keep saying about the little things will add up to one big thing one day. How many small things will it take? And what will be that big thing that I'm working my life towards?"
"Al it's hard to say what that big thing will be I'm honesty not sure but what I do know is that there will be 100 little things." There's a pause when the wind slowly surrounds us "Ok then what's reason number 1?" I ask him. He lays head head back on my shoulder and stays silent for a moment "Reason 1 is where you decide to push yourself to follow your dreams despite your parents." He says. "What about reason 2"
"Reason 2 is where you go to that orchestra audition." We carry on like this until we get to reason 20 then we can't think of any more. The light starts to come so we stand up and hand in hand walk to the ladder that leads down to the hall. Once we are back in the hall he stands there and looks into my eyes. He cups my face in his hands and kisses me again. He sets off speaks all through my body every time he does this.
"Have faith Al, text me or ring me whenever you want me and I'll be there. Stay calm and remember every small thing will lead to a huge change just stay positive." I smile at him.
"Thank you Mat. I love you!" I was so scared to say those words we had never really said the I love you words to each other so this was quite scary and new. I smiles and he pulls me closer to his side. "Reason 21, the time you said you loved me and looked like the world was about to end when you said it because you were so scared. Reason 22 the time I died when you said it because I love you more than you'll ever understand." He leans down again and kisses me with more passion than ever before. We stand there locked until we need to gain our breath again and break away. He slips his hand into mine and we start walking in the direction of my house. We walk in silence until we get to mine. He turns and faces me. "I love you too Al and I always will. Good night gorgeous sweet dreams."
"Thank you Mat tonight really has been special." I say smiling at him.
"It's been special to me to Al now get some sleep." We let go of each other and I walk up the path to my house. I turn around to give him one more glance and he's still stood there waiting for me to go in. He winks at me and and giggle at how cute and adorable he is. I shut the door behind me and head up to my darkened hell but it feels different I feel happy and warm inside. And even calm. It's such a new thing for me to feel calm all I want to do is cry. I'm the happiest I've ever been because of Mat and I hope that one day he may want to make this connection real but I can only hope. Miracles like him don't last forever. I stare down at my hand and realise there's a piece of crumpled paper in it. I take it out and read it, "Reason 23 the time you made me feel numb with how amazingly brace you are. Wherever you feel scared or hurt look up to the sky and remember I will be doing the same and I'm always thinking of you X don't give up this dream you've had for so long Al, I love you more than you'll ever know X"