The Little Things ✔️

Something i never want to remember

Screams, shouts love and laughter fill my memories filling me with doubt. This isn't going to last. It never did. And it never will. Mats arms envelop me in warmth and love. He pulls me closer to his body to retain the warmth. I felt awful after what had just happened. Like I would never be able to forget it. It was always there burning in my mind.
"Hey maybe we should get some sleep?" Mat questions. I turn to him. His blue eyes were probably the brightest thing in the dimly lit room. It was around 4am and I had woken up crying. Mat had comforted me but I was still shaken up. His fingers trace my cheeks and brush a piece of hair off my face. I put a weak smile over my face and cuddle into his shoulder. He lifts me up and places me underneith the covers. Throughout this he's calm, quiet and peaceful. He pulls me closer to his side so I can practically hear his heart beat through his skin. My cool skin collides with his warm and I breath a sigh of relief.
"Try and sleep for me ok Al?" Mat whispers in my ear.
"I'll try." I whisper back. And with that i fall asleep in mats arms. 3 hours later I wake up again, screaming and crying. I felt like an idiot. Crying over an event I couldn't change. The darkness surrounds me. It's silent. I can feel my heart beating, fast, faster then usual. The recollections of the events I knew and had scared me. A few seconds later, my breathing had calmed down again, even if my heart was still beating fast. A warm light filled the room. And arms wrapped them self around my back and slides under my arms. They pulled me towards the warmth. Mat placed a kiss on my cheek as I still looked out into the aybss.
"Again?" Mat said in a calm sweet tone in my ear not in the slightest bit annoyed. All I can do is nod in response.
"It's okay, I'm here with you.." Mat says. Kissing me again.
"I know.." I whisper back.
"I don't know how much more I can take of this Mat?" I say turning around to see his calm expression.
"What's it exactly that's on your mind Al? Maybe I can help?" He says. It's hard to explain. This last year has been a big one a crazy one at that. Before i met Mat I was just a 17 year old girl just going about her life, playing an instrument she loved and dealing with problems at home. Now I was a famous singer, with the best family in the world. And got to spend all this with her amazing boyfriend. But a lot had happened in this year...and not all good. Me and Mat had had our first proper argument. My brother and his had been at threat of death. It all was building up. At that current moment we were still on tour. All I really wanted to do was go home and relax. But I just simply couldn't. This had changed my life. I couldn't just let it go now!? I explain all this to Mat and he's silent for a second.
"Al life is going to be like this. Lifes never going to be a smooth ride into the sunset. And sometimes it's going to be harder than others. But that's what makes it exciting. I know loads of people who would dream to have the life you do. So I suppose you've just got to take away the negatives and focus on the positives. And for us arguing. It's going to happen. That's what makes a healthy relationship but I promise from the bottom of my heart I won't hurt you like that again!" Mat kisses me on the cheek and I fall back into bed and rest my head on his chest.

Somethings we just have to forget. Move on from. Some things though, I never think I want to remember but I don't this that's true. I was happy, happy that Mat wouldn't hurt me again, he mostly kept his promises so I had no doubt that he wouldn't keep this one....or so I thought.