The Little Things ✔️

If this is what it takes

I wake up to feel Mats arms around me. They are strong but loose. He's wrapped around me as he sleeps quietly. I move over and check my phone. I have a message from my dad. I decide to read the message as Mat hasn't woken up yet. It reads.
Hey darling, I hope your enjoying your little break away. I really hate to tell this to you in a message bud I can't stop Patrick from crying. As much as Reece is comforting him I feel like I'd I told you over the phone he wouldn't want to hear it again. Somehow your mother has gone missing and I've just received a call from the police saying they think they've found her body. I'm so sorry Hun X lots of love Dad xx
I just freeze. I need to find her and tell her I'm sorry. All those things I said all that stuff I did I regret it all now. Then it reminds me, what was she trying to tell me that evening? That she's sorry. That she's going to commit suicide? Everything starts heating up. I need to leave before Mat sees. I quickly scribble him a note explaining I'll be back soon and run out the door. I don't give anyone any notice even with the glances I get. I run, and don't stop. When I finally reach the top of the roof I sit down. Within seconds I'm crying. Tears streaming my once smooth face. My vision is blurry and I think I already have a headache. My head is spinning and I feel incredibly sick. Why? All the times I had hurt her now I couldn't even apologise. I'm such an awful human. I must have been up here for a few hours crying my heart out because I don't even notice the arms around me. I jump when I feel them. I look around to see Mat as worried as hell.
"You scared me half to death Al!" He says he sits down next to me and brings me onto his lap.
"Just cry love. All you need." I take his advice and cry for a while more. Through out he pulls me closer to him and wraps his arms further around me and rocks me back and forth like a little child. When I finally stop he tucks a piece of hair behind my ear.
"Do you want to talk?" He says kissing me. I feel that I've cried myself dry so I might as well give it ago.
"Well........." I start but my throat tightens and I can sense more tears on their way.
"Darling you don't need to be brave for anyone right now. If you can't then don't. It pains me just not to see a smile on your face so you can't imagine what this is making me feel." He kisses my forehead and places my head back on his shoulder. After a while I think I'm able to tell him. I take a deep breath and just get it out of the way.
"My mums dead. " I say. Mat doesn't say anything just strokes my head. I'm quite happy with the response Mat gives. He's quiet until a few seconds later.
"Just because she isn't here doesn't mean she isn't in your heart Al, or looking down at you and smiling." I let his words sink in before a lift my head and look into his vibrant eyes.
"However bad you feel, you didn't do anything wrong Al, you never had and never have. It was her choice to do what she did. You know why she forgives you. Because just before that concert we talked." My eyes widen at that. He carries on though.
"You know what she said to me? If this how my daughter sees me. I can't bear to live with the pain I caused her. Tell her I forgive her and am sorry. That's what she said Al." Once again I can feel my eyes water up. Mat puts his hand under my chin and looks me in the eye.
"Al no matter how bad you feel you can't let her get to you. She loved you and forgives you but she couldn't bear to live with this pain she has put you through."
"I know Mat but I really don't think I'll be able to go on! I feel so weak and helpless."
"Well then my love if this is what it takes then I will help you. We will go through this together. And any pain you feel like giving over I will willingly take it all just so I can see a smile on your face again." He then stands up with me in his arms and walks back to our hotel room where we spend the rest of the day cuddling, kissing and watching movies. No matter how much pain today has given me with Mat by my side we are unstoppable.
"Al can I tell you something?" Mat asks me as I put on the fifth film.
"Yeah gorgeous?" I say jumping back into his arms.
"You and me make a great team. If today has shown me anything it's that I'm in love with one of the strongest and bravest girls in the entire world." He says kissing me on the forehead. As the film starts the sun sets over the city that I've become so close to. And the city the boy of my life showed me what a great team make