Harry's Journal (Book 3 in the No Control Series)

Chapter 9

*Journal Page*

I've called Lizzie everyday since her surgery. The first few days were so hard, I could literally hear the pain in her voice.

Today I went to visit her. Liam let me in and told me to go on up to the bedroom. I took a deep breath, then made my way up the stairs. I froze in the doorway, Lizzie was laying in bed, wearing a thin tank top and very short sleep shorts. All I could think was, God she's beautiful!

She realized I was there and told me to come in. When I didn't move she followed my eyes, realizing they were on her perfect body.

She reached across the bed, grabbing one of Liam's t shirts, putting it on.

I approached the bed, handing her the flowers I brought her. She was touched that I remembered her favorite flowers are lilies.

She told me she was sorry, looking down at her body, tugging on the t shirt.

I told her...Lizzie, don't ever apologize for being beautiful.

She insisted that she never wanted to do anything to make it more difficult for me.

I gave her a kiss on her forehead, and told her I know that.

Liam came in just after the kiss. He'd brought tea for all of us. I was standing awkwardly next to the bed. Liam laughed and told me. Sit down on the bed, mate; she doesn't bite.

Lizzie's head shot up, to see my reaction I assume. If only Liam realized the thoughts he just caused to pop up in my head...well..he'd hit me for sure.

I looked back to Lizzie. She smiled sweetly, moved over a bit, and patted the spot next to her.

If I want Lizzie and Liam in my life, I'm going to have to learn to act normally around them.

I sit down on the bed, and Lizzie immediately starts showing me some wardrobe ideas she has for me for the next tour. I relax, and we joke around. Each time Liam leaves the room my thoughts stray for a moment, but I manage to reel them back in.

Lizzie insists on taking a selfie of us. Not exactly the bed selfie I've always imagined with her.

Even though I don't want to move, I tell Lizzie I have to go. I can see that she's tired and needs to rest.

Back at home, I check my phone. Lizzie has sent me the selfie of us, along with a message. 'Please never forget that you are important to me, H; and I do love you.'

I smile, feeling a twinge in my heart. I know she doesn't love me in the same way that I love her, but it means the world to me. It means that she feels our connection too. Lizzie knows that I'll understand exactly what she means.

I print out the picture of Lizzie and I. Then I did something I never do, I took a selfie. Anything for Lizzie. I held the picture she took, to my heart, and took a picture. I sent it to her with a message. "There are all kinds of love in this world..."

I know that she will recognize the F. Scott Fitzgerald quote, and only her and I know what it means to us.

************

Alice looks at the pictures attached to the journal page. Her first thought being that Harry and Lizzie make a cute couple. She'll keep that thought to herself though.

"So how does she love you, Harry? Like a friend?"

Harry bites his lip, thinking. "I'm not sure if I can put it into words. Perhaps, more than a friend, but differently from how she loves Liam."

"And you can accept that?"

Harry smiles. "I don't have much choice, do I?"