On The Edge

Chapter Thirty One.

Jason’s POV

I couldn’t stop the tears as I stared at my hands, useless, completely useless. I couldn’t even write the alphabets let alone construct a simple sentence, I was trying so hard and yet I couldn’t do it, I have to though, my hands were my life, well next to Cailen and Blaine, and Jasmine and Arlena and dad and aunt K and wow, there were a lot of things more important than my hands, I once heard a song, a Christian song when my dad was dating a pastor’s daughter, she made us go to church, it went something about counting your blessings, back then I thought how stupid but I was realizing there was so much more to life than my hands and I had so much more than most despite the obsessed lunatic after me and my family, I picked up the pencil and began to write again, I can do it.

‘’Cailen, stop running when your feet are wet, you’ll fall.’’ I heard Blaine’s voice in the hall, he had taken the kids swimming and once I heard the sliding sound, I knew my son had disobeyed, they were playing a game here, I realized. Cailen was fiercely independent and Blaine couldn’t stop being overprotective, Cailen knew this and so he purposely disobeyed him to show him that he couldn’t control him, that should be interesting. Well the turn out. I heard some words exchanged and then little footsteps stamping away, I won’t interfere; let them work out whatever issues they had themselves. The door to our room opened and there was my man, wearing only swimming trunks, and naked to the waist, I felt desire quicken in me, we hadn’t had sex and as much as my body desired it, I would wait till Blaine was ready, but my body had other ideas of its own, just seeing him standing there all wet and bare was a total turn out, I resisted the urge to run my hands through his black hair and kiss his strong chest, to slid over and onto his hardness, I had no idea the turn of my thoughts had gone so far until I heard Blaine chuckle, I guess he had seen the lust on my face, I turned away as the heat rose to my cheeks and some other unnamable part of my anatomy.

‘’that’s cute but I want our first time to be special and really, while I’m wet and you are sweating like you just ran a five mile marathon is not special.’’

‘’I’m not sweating like I ran a marathon and even if I did, in the movies when they have sex while sweating, it’s pretty hot.’’ I felt as if my cheeks were having a color competition with a tomato even en as I spoke,

Blaine laughed as he moved closer, ‘’that’s in the movies, trust me, in real life, sweaty sex if it’s ever good is the really cheap kind that takes ten minutes, what am I saying? I won’t last five.’’ He bent doe and kissed me softly and gently on the lips, ‘’you are special, I want this to be special.’’ I wasn’t sure and I guess he saw it on my face because he kissed me again, harder, the kind of hard that feels as if your tongues are doing the marathon, the kind that send electricity all over your body, that makes your toes curl and your stomach churn, that kind that you only read of in books and saw really bad imitations on TV, the kind that had me reaching out to feel his hair, to feel him, his hand moved to my waist, he was really good at this, alternating between nibbling my lips and tasting my mouth in what felt like microseconds while his hands cradled me, I felt like I was in heaven, the one that gay guys go to, but then he was redrawing from me and as much as I wanted to protest, I didn’t, I realized as soon as he redrew that I was out of breath. He didn’t move far way, he was close to me, I could feel his breath on my lower lips, ‘’wow that was…’’ he seemed to be lacking in words. Good, I thought I was the only one whose brain temporarily shut down, ‘’that was special, and it’s because of how special you are to me.’’

‘’I love you.’’ There was nothing else to say, I loved him as twisted and dark as his past was, I didn’t mind, in fact it made me love him more.

‘’ I love you too, very much.’’ I won’t cry! I won’t cry! I repeated the mantra over and over in my head. He withdrew back at last and stared at me, ‘’what are you doing?’’