On The Edge

Chapter Sixteen.

Blaine's POV

He was not like anyone I had every seen, or met. He was kind, beautiful, considerate, headstrong and annoying. I watched from the door as he slept with Altair and Cailen on each side. I had no idea why I loved watching him sleep for almost one week and why him sleeping in Cailen's room was making me unable to sleep. What was wrong with me? I pulled myself away from the door and walked to my room, in my room I lay on the bed and faced where he normally slept, I have gotten used to staring at him as he slept, Jason would say that was Creepy if he knew, that made me smile, I turned away from his side of the bed and starred into the ceiling, not much to see. Blaine Alessandro, you really need to sort out your feelings, I am not gay so it couldn't be that I like him so what exactly was it? I really don't know. I closed my eyes for a minute trying to sleep, then gave up and sat up, I need answers, Jason does say the answers to the universe are on the internet. I switched on my laptop and set up my modem. A few minutes later, I typed in: how to understand your feelings. I really.don't think its going to show me any thing useful but its either this or Dr. Frasier. I'd rather die.

Some options came up, I randomly clicked on one on the second page, there was really nothing important there, just stuff about love and feelings and I know I don't love him so I was about to exit when I saw something at the bottom of the page: how to tell between love and lust, there was stuff there about how to know when you are lusting over someone or when you are in love with them, I thought of what happened in the tub, maybe that was it I could be lusting over him, but he's a guy.

I read: people of same sex can lust after one another, be careful not top mix those feelings with love and think you're gay. To be sure, it's advisable to have sex with whoever it is you have those feelings for, once you do this, these feelings will disappear.

It sounded really stood at first but I thought about it, of all the times I had thought I.had deep feelings for a girl and we had sex, the feelings just went after sex, sometimes it was the other way round I lusted after her and after sex, it was then I began to develop.feelings for her but they never lasted, I really didn't think I would ever think of this bu tmaybe I.should have sex with Jason, then these feelings would clear up. What if they don't? Something in me asked, I ignored that stream of thoughts.

So, I began to google on gay sex positions, simulations and all the sorts, turns out there was a lot to read on gay.sex, things like lubrication and postrate. I normally would be disgusted by such things but the thought of using my new knowledge on Jason made me aroused, I really was lusting over him.

"Blaine, have you been up all night?", I looked up to see Jason standing at the door looking at me, he was wearing a pair of white shorts and an oversized polo shirt, he looked really really cute. God, I can't wait have sex with him so I'll stop thinking like this. It was morning already, had I been up that long? "I think so, aren't you going to go to work?"

He shook his head, "I'll call in sick later, I want to spend the day with Altair.", I looked at him, something in his voice made it sound like he was hiding from something."we're.going shopping this morning.", at least he wasn't talking about going on a date again, the last time he said that yesterday morning, I had felt like killing whoever this Terence guy was, and if Jason was one of my ex-girlfriends, I'd probably have, no, I'd definitely have. "why so early?"

"cause no one goes out this early, we'll have the whole store to ourselves."

"who and who is going?"

"everyone, Arlena, Altair Cailen, Karina, Stevie and even statue."

"who?"

"my ex bodyguard.", he really did know how to give nicknames. "you coming?"