Star In The Shadow // CTH [Editing process]

XV

Just saying: there will be a switch in point of views. (this will tell you when it happens: <•>)

We are currently at Ari's house trying to sink into our systems everything that happened yesterday (Thursday). Ari is trying to keep her calm by the news that Calum and I kissed (even if it was two days ago), while I'm trying not to fangirl on the idea of her going out on a date with Ashton. Lets just say it isn't working, because we both start squealing after a couple of seconds of silence.

"Okay, okay... So right before we entered, you guys were kissing..." She says with a huge smile and her face.

My answer: Nod dramatically and squeal.

Her answer: jump up and down while still sitting on her bed and... Well... Squeal

"Okay... Wait..." I say as  I put my hands on her shoulders for her to stop jumping. "Ashton asked you out...."

Her answer: Nod, huge smile... Did I miss something... Oh, yeah, right: Squeal.

My answer: SQUEAL

I think I'm going to loose my voice.

"Wait, what's going to happen between you and Cal?" She asks, concern all over her face. "Did he text you or anything today?"

"Actually... no..." I say as I look at my hands on my lap. Not even a text saying hi.

"But never mind me! You're going on a date... You are going to have a great time..." I say trying not to think about him not talking to me for a whole day. He didn't even go to school today.

"Roxy..." She says as she reaches for my hands and squeezes them gently. "Did you text him? Maybe he's been busy..."

"Can we skip it, please?" I ask begging, which she does.

This is what I've always been afraid of. Rejection. I don't want to text him... I don't know, I think I wanted him to start the conversation, so that maybe I could know it meant something for him. I know I'm being a child and that I'm making a scene, I just thought that he would at least come to school. But not even that. What if he didn't like it? What if he doesn't like me? I brush my thoughts away to focus on my best friend, who looks nervous about the whole dating thing.

"What are you guys going to do?" I ask smiling lightly.

"Movies..." She says. She's obviously nervous.

"What you gonna watch?" I ask now smiling completely.

"I don't know!" She says yelling lightly and covering her face with a pillow. I'm loosing her. She's too damn nervous.

"Hey... You'll be fine... It's going to be great. Stop worrying..." I say as I look at my freaked out best friend.

"I know, I'm just really excited..." Says Ari looking at me and smiling.

"I can tell!" I say laughing gently receiving a light push from her.

"Well what do I wear?" She asks now sitting straight.

"Lets check!" I say as I go to her closet to help her choose her outfit.

<•>

"What the fuck?!" Says Ashton as he hits me on my face with one of the pillows.

"Ow! Why did you hit me?" I ask as I catch my breath.

"Calum, you're an idiot..." He says as he stands beside the bed that Luke and I share.

"I thought that was Michael." I say as I start laughing, only to receive another smack from the pillow on my face.

"Stop! You really need to do something about this!" He says, making me more confused.

"About what?" I ask now yelling too, annoyed by his way of acting. Why is he even acting this way?

"About Roxanne..." He says, as he sits on the bed. Oooohhh, that...

"What about her?" I ask as I shift uncomfortably on the bed. He glares at me. He's right, I'm being an idiot. Why am I even acting like this?

"Okay fine! I haven't got the courage to talk to her!" I say covering my face with one of the pillows beside me.

"Why?!" He is obviously mad and worried.

"I just, I don't know..." I say as I look at my best friend. What an answer.

"Look, Ari texted me, saying that Roxanne was hurt because you haven't tried to talk to her..." He says putting the pillow that he used where it goes.

"I just..." I don't know what to say. I literally don't have any excuse.

Ashton hands me my phone, but then takes it from me.

"I think it will be better if you talk in person. By the way, she's at Ari's..." He says as he puts my phone on the bed and then leaves.

He's right. I need to see her in person. But I'm just too chickened to go. I feel like if I go she will start laughing at me. Like if she thought I was an idiot. Who am I even kidding? She's too perfect for me. Besides, the whole kiss was a total cliché... But she likes clichés right? What am I even saying?

Damn it! I need it... Wait, no... Calum stay strong mate, don't do it... Just one... NO! You can't, you promised you wouldn't. But I'm just so confused. No! You need to stay strong for her. But what if she doesn't want to talk to me? What if she hates me because I haven't talked to her? I need to talk to her. Okay, okay... Wait, how did I even get here?

I've been driving since I started to have these thoughts, and somehow made it to her place, or the place where she is, Ari's. I knock on the door only to be greeted by Ari. Oh dear... She's glaring at me. I'm officially dead meat.

"Hello Calum." Annoyance shown on her voice. Yep I'm doomed.

"Hi Ari..." I say waving my hand a little and then coughing awkwardly before continuing. "Can I talk to Roxanne? Please?"

"Come in... Sit on the couch and if she comes then you know she wants to talk..." She says as she lets me in, leads me to the living room and then goes upstairs, probably going to ask Rox if she wants to talk to me.

After a while Roxy appears, looking as beautiful as always. But she also looks sad, and I can't help but break into a million pieces, because I know it's my fault. She sits next to me on the couch without saying a word, and I take it as my cue to start talking.

"Roxanne... I... Um... I wanted to apologize for... for not trying to talk to you." I pause, she's not even looking at me. I continue. "I was just scared you know? I was scared that you would laugh at me. That you would think I'm an idiot for liking the way we kissed because I thought it was so cliché. And I keep saying to myself that I'm the stupidest guy ever, because I have the greatest girl in front of me and I can't seem to put my words together. And when I do I start babbling random words, which only makes it worst because you probably think that I'm completely insane. And I just couldn't talk to you because I thought that you wouldn't like me. I mean, so many guys and I'm lucky enough to get a kiss and I just want to be with you. But then again, I don't know if I'm even talking straight anymore... Am I even talking straight anymore? Oh My God! I'm probably annoying the hell out of-" I'm speechless and that's a lot to say right now. But it's not because I stopped talking. It's because she stopped me.

Her hands tug at the end of my hair. Damn it, I love that so much. I cup her face with my hands. Our lips move in sinc and all I can feel is happiness. I haven't felt this happy in so long, in the terms of love. I don't want to go. I want to stay with her. Like I said, I can't leave her, she's my new addiction.

We pull away slowly and I open my eyes, only to see her green ones staring. Those green emeralds are literally driving me crazy. A smile appears on her face making mine appear too.

"What took you so long?" She says as she involves me in a hug. I love these. I hug her also. I hug her like if it was the last time I could hug her, like if I could loose her.

We stay in the couch talking and cuddling every once in a while. Eventually, Ari comes and tells us to leave because she can't stand us being all lovely dovey anymore. Specially if we are in her house. I drive Rox home, the entire ride with her hand on mine. We walk to her front porch, hand in hand, then i kiss her goodbye and then make my way back to the hotel with a smile plastered on my face.