Because I Knew You

Confessions

Idina suddenly felt very uncomfortable. "Kristin, I'm so sorry," she sighed.
"No, Idina, don't be! It's all my fault, I should've let go years ago! Just like you did. I tried and dated several men and they were good to me. Really! But I just...I couldn't get you out of my head."
"Then why didn't you come back earlier? Why after 12 years?," asked Idina.
"You seemed to live the perfect life. You have no idea how many nights I was awake thinking about calling you. But I always thought that you wouldn't need me anymore. You had Taye. That's why I ended it, all these years ago. I didn't want you to get into trouble." Kristin looked down, playing with her hands. Idina took them into hers. A small sigh escaped her mouth. "Kristin, I missed you."
Kristin looked up, not sure if she heard right. "You did?" "Of course I did! What we had was special! Letting go of you was the hardest thing I ever had to do!" A tear rolled down her cheek.
"Can we please go somewhere more private? I wanna tell you something and I'm not sure if I can without breaking down."
Kristin got up to hug Idina. "Of course we can! We can go to my house if you want. Only Maddie's home." "Ok, thanks Kristin!"

They left the café and hailed a cab. No one said a word on their way to Kristin's apartment.

The doorman greeted them when they arrived and they took the elevator up to the 10th floor.
"Can I offer you something to drink? " "No, thanks!" Idina replied, looking around. "I have no idea how you're able to keep your apartment this clean." Kristin chuckled. "It's easy if you live alone. Do you want a cupcake? I couldn't sleep last night..." "You bake at night?," Idina laughed. "Usually not, but insomnia hit me really hard last night. So why not try something new? And hey they're not that bad!" "I guess I'll take one then."
"Ok. Please take a seat, I'll be with you in a minute." " Thanks!"

Kristin came back with two cupcakes and sat down next to Idina. "So what did you want to tell me?"
Idina cleared her throat. "Um, so earlier you told me that you couldn't get me out of your head. And...I couldn't get you out of my head either. Still can't." They were both silent for a moment. Then Idina continued speaking. "I loved Taye. I really did. I wouldn't have a kid without him. But it was still you who I was thinking about at night... well, and day. I was waiting for you to call me and ask me to come back. I would've left Taye."
"Oh gosh, Idina. I wish I had know that. It was a mistake to leave you. I knew it was. But wouldn't it have been weird to call and beg you to come back to me, considering the fact that I broke your heart?" "Not at all. I mean you did break my heart but I know that with that you broke your own heart as well." "I felt so guilty. " Idina closed the gap between them to wipe away the tears that escaped Kristin's eyes. She embraced her and gave her a kiss on her forehead which made Kristin smile. She looked up to the taller woman. "Thanks for telling me!"
"I actually have more to say. I was so close to leaving Taye. The morning you broke up with me, I had actually planned to talk to you about moving in together. I was ready to leave my old life behind and start a new one with you. Sometimes at night when I couldn't sleep, I imagined what our wedding would be like and how beautiful you would look in your dress. And I thought about our honeymoon or who would carry our first child."
At that point Kristin was bawling uncontrollably and even Idina couldn't hold back her tears anymore. She was relieved that she got it all out. But there was one thing she wasn't able to tell Kristin. And it was the fact that she was still head over heels in love with her. Especially now that she was finally back in her arms.