Because I Knew You

Tears and rain

(The next morning )

Idina shot up and out of bed to the bathroom. It was happening again. "What kind of morning sickness is this?," she murmured. A thought crossed her mind that terrified her. "Fuck, no this can't be happening." Idina thought again, her and Aaron had sex three weeks ago when Kristin surprised her at If/Then.

Idina got up and ran to her room to get some clothes and her bag. She needed to get to a drugstore before Aaron came home from grocery shopping.
Idina was horrified. She had planned to start her life over with Kristin by her side. "Maybe it's just the stomach flu...", she thought. She almost convinced herself that that would be the case until a new wave of nausea hit her.
After rinsing her mouth she left the apartment.

Luckily, Aaron hadn't come back when she arrived home with three different pregnancy tests. She took them all and set the timer. Idina felt like the room was spinning and she had to sit down. She leaned her head against the cold wall and closed her eyes. Her life was about to turn in the wrong direction.
The timer went off and Idina inhaled sharply. The moment of truth had arrived.
She looked at the sticks, they all indicated that she was pregnant. Time seemed to stand still, Idina's hands wandered to her stomach then back up to her mouth. That was when she started crying, at first silent tears, then loud sobs.

It's not that she didn't want kids. No, she actually had wanted to have kids with Aaron but that was some time ago, before they had lost their passion for each other or at least Idina had. But having a baby now was not something she had wished for.

Idina grabbed her phone and dialed Kristin's number without even thinking about it.

Kristin saw the caller ID and felt butterflies but when she answered her phone all she could hear were loud heartbreaking sobs. Kristin instantly began to panick. "Idina? What happened?"
Another few sobs escaped Idina's mouth before she answered: "Can we meet please?" " Sure honey, do you wanna come over?" "Yes. Thank you Kristin!" She had hung up before Kristin could say more.

While Idina went to her car and drove to Kristin's apartment, Kristin prepared hot chocolate and bagels, along with some blankets. She took them outside to her terrace. Then she heard the doorbell ring.

When Kristin opened the door she saw an awful looking Idina standing in front of her. The blonde could see that her girlfriend had been crying all the way to her apartment. She embraced her tightly and wiped away some tears. "Idina come outside and tell me what happened."

They both sat down in Kristin's big comfy chairs and Kristin took Idina's hands into hers. She was really worried about her.

Idina needed a moment to compose herself. Then she started talking with her voice still sounding raspy from all the crying. "Kris, I made a stupid mistake. Aaron and I hadn't had sex in a long time and the day when you came to see If/Then, it happened. I was so happy that day and nothing could've taken it away from me. That was the first day in a long time that I actually wanted to be close to Aaron again. It sounds so stupid. And...and now...", Idina stopped talking, she couldn't get out what she actually wanted to say. "And what?" Kristin asked. She already knew the answer, she knew that everything was about to change and she knew that once again she would be the person to be left behind.
"I'm pregnant Kris. I'm so sorry." Then Idina burst into tears again.
Kristin hugged Idina. "Everything's gonna be fine. You're gonna be ok. I'm here. I will always be here." Kristin soothed Idina like a child. She was supposed to be happy for her but she wasn't. She wanted to have children with her, she wanted to start a family. But yet again a man had to come and destroy her dreams. Kristin knew that Idina would leave her again. She was carrying Aaron's baby.
A tear escaped Kristin's eye. She didn't want to cry, she wanted to be strong for Idina.

The hot chocolate wasn't hot anymore and it had started to rain but none of them moved. They sat their crying silently until they couldn't make out anymore if it were their tears or the rain pouring down their cheeks.