Complicated

One Jump Away..

"I think that's Simon.." I panicked.
"Well it seems like your gonna have to make your mind up quicker than I thought. What do you want Harley? Do you love him?"
"Of course I love him Lia. You know I do, from the minute I saw him in that train.. But I'm kidding myself. He obviously doesn't love me as much as I thought he did. I mean I can't trust him again. 2 times Lia.."
"But do you love him?"
"Yes.."
"Well then.."
"I don't want my heart to get broken again. It hurts too much. Just leave him.. Let him go with Jess."
"Fine.. I'll go tell him."
Lia opened the door to Simon. He stepped to come in but Lia wouldn't allow it.
"Lia? Please."
"I can't. She doesn't want to see you.. I'm sorry, I tried."
"But I love her.. Jess was a mistake."
"It's too late Simon.. Maybe you should just go?"
"Fine. Thankyou for trying Lia.."
She shut the door on him. I felt my stress go away but I still felt like there was something wrong with me. I love Simon and letting him go killed me. My baby needs a father.. But the way Simon's been at it he's probably got Jess and the rest of London pregnant.. Fuck boy.. Man whore.. But I couldn't help it. That man whore was the man who I loved and I couldn't deny that. I walked to the balcony and looked at the stars. I have a flashback to the day of mine and Simon's first date.. We'd snook out and we looked at the stars. I was still with Josh at that time. It was romantic and fun.. A tear ran down my cheek.
"Harley.. You still love him. I can't let you let him go.."
I said nothing.
Lia POV:
I ran out if the flat and ran down all the stairs to the entrance. That was one of the negatives of living on a top floor flat but atleast I knew Simon was still here. Not for much longer though.
"Simon! Simon! Please come back. She loves you. And I don't want her to let you go.." I grabbed his arm and turned him around. "Simon? Are you crying?"
"No I'm fine."
"You really love her don't you?"
"More than anything. I love the way she smiles and makes me laugh. I love the way she sings Disney songs while she gets dressed and in the shower. I love how she calls me her Eric because she loves Ariel. I love the way she helps people, me mostly. I love how she gave me a second chance when I didn't deserve it. I love the way she fought her way out of a car accident. I just love everything about that girl.. I can't let her go but I'm afraid it's too late.."
"It's never too late. She loves you. And she's a sucker for love. Go up and talk to her. Me and Tobi will go out for an hour. Maybe visit the Sidemen house. Just sort something out yeah?"
He smiled at me. I picked up my phone and called Tobi I told him we were gonna give Harley and Simon some space which he was more than happy with. Ah Tobi my banging boyfriend..
Simon pov:
I could change everything. One wrong move and we're done. I can't let her go not after what we've gone through together. The affair.. Ashley.. The crash. Losing her to Jess would be the worst way.. I ran up the stairs and all the way to Lia and Tobi's flat.
Harley POV:
It was time. I'd made my mind. I hate myself for doing this to the baby but not for long. I mean I would die too.. Suicide. A way I'd never thought I'd die. And once I jumped from this balcony.. It's the end. Atleast there will be no more worries. I never said goodbye to my friends.. I'll leave them a note.. I grabbed a pen and paper.
Dear friends.. Mainly to Lia..
I'm so sorry I have to do this to you.. Leave you like this but I have no choice. Life's hard. It's not just Simon. My past too. My dad died like you know but my step dad used to things to me. I kept this a secret until now.. I only told Simon. Anyway, I'm so sorry for breaking your hearts. I really am. Tell work I won't be coming back and tell Simon I've always loved him no matter what he's done to me. He broke me.. Hes the reason I've done this. Especially you Lia. I hate the fact I'm leaving you without a bestfriend. I don't want to do this but it's the only way..
Love From Harley. Xxxx
Ugh I can't do this.. I put the paper on the table and stepped back on the balcony. This is it Harley. Your last day. I rub my tummy. I'm so sorry little baby. It's not like you'd want to live without a dad anyway. Trust me. I stepped onto the railing. I was about to do it. I'm about to jump.
"Harley stop!" Simon shouted.
"What does it matter to you? Shouldn't you be with Jess?"
"I don't love Jess.. I love you. Please don't do this to me. To us. We love you. You'll kill us. I want you.. And our baby.."
"So you know?"
"Yeah.. Please Harley. I love you. And I still want to get married to you in a month's time. Remember. Our November wedding?"
"Of course I do.. But I think it's best if I just left your life. Lots of girls clearly want you.."
"But I want you.." He stepped towards me and pulled me back from the railings and the balcony.
"Simon. Let me jump... I have nothing left. Not anymore."
"What about your friends? Lia. Emma? Have you forgot about them. The baby. Our baby. The baby we could raise together? What about me?"
"Like you care about me." I looked back at the sky.
"I do.. I love you." He turned me around and lifted up my chin. "If you can't do it for me do it for the baby. For your friends. What I did to you is unforgivable I know that but I love you.." I got lost in his eyes.. He attempted to hug me. He brought me forward. I cried and pulled him away. I started hitting his chest, sobbing. I did this until I gave in. I couldn't do this. I couldn't risk mine and my baby's life." I hugged him back.
"I can't let my heart be broken again.."
"I won't let it."
"Funny because your the only other person to do it. Twice.." I let go of the hug and remembered I was mad.
"Please Harley. I need you. I love you more than anything in this God damn world. I can't lose you. Not again. It's all my fault I know. But I love you and I'd kill myself I'd lost you."
"I'm sorry Simon.. I have to let you go."
"You don't have to.. Do you still love me?"
"Of course I do.. But all my trust.. It's gone."
"Then why don't you find that one more bit of trust in your heart. I can change Harley."
"Sometimes it's better to be alone. Alone where nobody can hurt you."
"But you don't have to be alone.."
"But Jess. She's so much prettier than me.. Why do you love me? That's the question I've been asking myself since our affair. "
"I want you. All of you. Your flaws. Your mistakes. Your imperfections.. I want you. And only you Harley."
"I have too many flaws for a man like you.."
"I can't see one single flaw. Except this one. This on flaw that's bugged me since I've met you. Your insecure. Your flaw is you don't know how beautiful you are. You think I'm happy with myself? I'm lanky Af"
"And I love your lankiness." I laughed.
"Listen. If I could give you one thing in life I'd give you the ability to see yourself through my eyes, only then you would see how special you are to me.."
"But.."
"No buts. I love you. More than anything in this whole God damn world. Sure we argue and we make mistakes but we always come back to each other because we're made for eachother.. Don't tell me you don't feel the same.."
"I do. I love you Simon.."
"I'm so sorry I've done this to you. I hate myself for it."
"You shouldn't. Before I met you, I'd never knew what it was like to look at someone and smile for no reason."
"If you don't love me tell me now. If you don't love me I want you to go out there and find a heart that will love you at your worst and hold you at your weakest because I want you to be happy."
"I think that's you Simon. I can't leave you. I love you."
"I love you. You don't know how happy you've made me.."
"I will love you forever and only you. From now on it's just you and me. Forever."
"How about we watch hollyoaks? I heard Lindsey was meant to die.."
"Sounds perfect.."