AILWAG Book2: His Promise [Published under Pop Fiction books]

[78] Emotional Stress

[78] EMOTIONAL STRESS

KURT'S POV

I don't know how long I've been staring at Crystal's face. She's now in deep sleep and pain is still registered on her pale face. Bakas pa sa mukha niya ang paghihirap na naranasan niya nang ipanganak niya ang anak namin. I reached for her hand and softly pressed it.

I am hella' worried of her as well as our baby. She gave birth to our daughter pre-maturely. Napaaga ng halos dalawang buwan ang panganganak niya. Hindi ko inaasahan na pwede itong mangyari sa kanya. Parang nung isang araw lang, pinapakiramdaman ko pa ang pagsipa nito sa tiyan ni Crystal.

"... I am sorry, Crystal."

Kung hindi ko sana pinuntahan si Mariz kanina, may posibilidad kayang hindi mangyari ito?

I buried my face on her hand and murmured, "Sorry for leaving you. H-Hindi ko naman alam na mangyayari ito."

Kahit na narinig kong bumukas ang pinto sa likuran ko, hindi ko pa rin yun pinansin. Sobrang nag-aalala ako para sa kanila. Nanganak siyang wala ako sa tabi niya. Kinailangan niya ako pero mas inuna ko pa rin ang ibang tao. I am dam-n stupid for doing that!

Sa sobrang tahimik ng kwarto, narinig ko ang mahihinang yabag ng paa palapit sa akin. I felt somebody tapped my shoulder and so I raised my head and looked behind me.

"I am so disappointed of you." Crystal's dad said with full of conviction. I looked down and closed my eyes to accept what he may say to me. "My daughter almost died but thanks to your friends, they urgently got her in here. Alam mo bang muntik na raw siyang manganak sa kotse pa lang?"

I swallowed very hard when I heard the word died. I should be thankful that didn't happen to them.Whoever helped Crystal, I will surely thank them forever.

Umupo ako nang maayos at muling ibinalik ang tingin ko kay Crystal. I didn't talk back and so he continued what he's about to say to me.

"Ano bang pumasok sa isip mo at pinabayaan mo ang anak ko? Pinagkatiwalaan kita na aalagaan mo siya pero bakit nagkaganito, Kurt?"

I buried my face on my palms, hiding my extreme emotions towards him. Hindi ko alam kung ano nang gagawin ko ngayon. Kagaya ng Daddy niya, magagalit rin kaya si Crystal sa akin ng ganito?

"I am sorry, Sir. Naipit lang po ako sa sitwasyon."

"Huwag mong idadahilan yang amnesia mo sa nangyari. Kung totoo ngang pinapahalagahan mo ang anak ko, hindi mo dapat siya iniiwan ng mag-isa." He paused for a moment and I heard him heave a sigh, "Emotional stress. Yun daw ang dahilan ng maagang panganganak niya. Masyado siyang na-i-stress sa mga nangyayari sa inyong dalawa, I supposed."

Emotional stress? It happened because of me? Masyado ko ba talaga siyang pinahirapan nung nakaraan? I've already made it up to her. Why does this need to be happening? Kung kailan inaayos ko na ang mga mali saka pa nagkaganito.

"Huwag mong masyadong alalahanin ang condition ng anak ko. You better watch over your daughter instead." Mahinang sabi niya kaya nilingon ko siya agad. "She needs to be taken care of. Pre-mature babies are at high risk. Hindi pa develop ang mga internal organs niya dahil sa maagang pagkapanganak niya. 7 1/2 months pa lang pero nailuwal na siya."

Dahil sa sinabi ng Daddy ni Crystal ay mas lalo akong kinakain ng konsensya ko. I went hurriedly back to the NICU to watch over our baby. Napakagat-labi nalang ako nang makita ko ang malalim na paghinga nito.

She's pale and little. She's fragile yet there's a part of me that wants to get in and carry her in my arms.

With my shaking finger, I ran it onto the glass mirror. If I didn't choose Mariz, would our baby stay safe inside her mother's womb? If I didn't leave Crystal, won't she still give birth earlier yet? If I was by her side, would I still control what happened?