AILWAG Book2: His Promise [Published under Pop Fiction books]

[80] Pain, Grief and Hatred

[80] PAIN, GRIEF AND HATRED

KURT'S POV

Binurol ng tatlong araw si Kyra sa lugar ng mga Rivera. Nung una, naisip ko na sana panaginip lang ang mga nangyari sa nagdaang ilang Linggo; ang preterm birth ni Kyra pati na rin ang pagkamatay niya. Napakabilis ng pangyayari. Hindi ko inaasahan na aabot kami sa ganitong punto.

From afar, I watched Crystal infront of the tombstone hugging her friends. It's been couple of minutes when we bid our final goodbyes to Kyra. As much as I wanted to approach and comfort her, there's a part of me that stops me from doing so. I am not scared of what she may say to me. Perhaps, I'm scared of seeing her cry again infront of me for the nth time. I don't want to see her in pain... It dam-n pains me too.

"Kurt, nakikiramay kami."

Napayuko nalang ako nang 'di ko namalayan ang paglapit ng buong gang ng X9 sa akin. Binati lang nila ako at agad-agad din naman akong nilagpasan ng lakad. Alex then tapped my right shoulder slightly.

"Kayanin mo, Kurt. Huwag kang panghihinaan ng loob." Alex said softly to me and so I tilted up my head to look to him. He showed me his faint smile. "Huwag mong intindihin yung walong mokong na yun. Kagaya ni Gail, nadisappoint din sila sa nangyari sa anak niyo. Ninong eh."

Nagsimula nang bumuhos ang malakas na ulan, pero nandito pa rin kaming dalawa ni Alex habang pinapanuod si Crystal sa malayo. Halo-halong emosyon na ang nararamdaman ko sa mga nagdaang araw. Nilabanan ko ang pagod at puyat, pero 'di ko makakayanang labanan ang sakit na nararamdaman ko ngayon.

"Maiwan na kita, Kurt. Ikaw na ang bahala kay Princess." He messed my hair like a kid but I still didn't mind him. "Kapag kinailangan mo ng makakausap, magbuzz ka lang sa unit ko. Magkatabi lang naman yung unit namin ni Gail eh."

I had to clear my throat before answering him, "Salamat..."

May isang oras na rin ang nakalipas pero hindi pa rin iniiwan ni Crystal ang puntod ni Baby Kyra... Isang oras na rin akong pinagmamasdan siya mula sa malayo. Kundi dahil sa trapal, malamang basa na siya ngayon. She was just staring blankly at the tombstone without minding the rain.

My grip on the umbrella tightened and shook at the same time out of my emotions. I really want to talk to her right now. I can't bare another week of not talking to her.

I took few deep breaths as I approached her. Sinarado ko ang payong at inalapag ito sa lupa. Crystal, on the other hand, seemed not to care of my existence. She just kept on staring at it with pain, grief and hatred reflects her eyes.

"Crystal..." I called her softly and took three steps from her behind. She embraced her own body and didn't mind my existence though. "Patawarin mo ako. I'm sorry..."

I swallowed very hard and managed to speak clearly.

"Alam kong kinailangan mo ako pero mas inuna ko pa si Mariz kesa sayo. Naipit lang naman ako... She tried to commit suicide that's why I had to go to her. H-Hindi ko naman alam na mangyayari ito."

With my trembling body, I wrapped my arms around her from her behind... Letting her feel how much I don't want to lose her... how much I am sorry... and how much I love her...

"Hindi ko naman 'to ginusto... Kagaya mo, nasaktan din ako sa nangyari sa anak natin. Inaamin ko naman ang kasalanan ko, Crystal. S-sana... mapatawad mo ako. Sana matanggap mo pa ako."