Villain at Night *Third Book To Hero by Day

Chapter 9 - Beauty and the Beast

"I'm sorry if I kissed you when you weren't in control of yourself, because I'm all about consent."

~ Kara Danvers (Supergirl)

:Oliver:

I didn't really want to open up to Elise about the whole experience with Midnight, but I knew I had to. I couldn't keep all those feelings bottled up, not anymore. Though, I knew Elise didn't understand the full weight of what those thoughts did to me, she did understand why I couldn't bear to have them.

I hated to have all of those dark thoughts just sitting around in my head. I knew I had to get them off of my chest somehow, and Elise was probably one of the only people who would listen.

My mother was so preoccupied with the wedding that I was sure I'd have no time to talk to her about anything. Ian was still sour about Nicole being back. Mary was . . . recovering. Aden was too busy off learning how to save the world. Heather was busy doing First Daughter stuff. And was I really going to talk to Chad about this stuff? I know he's supposed to be my soon to be step-father (Eww!), but he's also the prime suspect for The Obstructer and a Remedists who didn't like me very much.

Yeah, Elise was probably the only one I could talk to about this.

Elise was my girlfriend, the girl I want to be with for the rest of my life. If she couldn't understand what I was going through, then who would?

By nature, I was a nice person, but being a nice human being was harder than it looked. Being nice takes effort, especially when there were people like Chad or Mrs. Solace in your life who were just horrible by nature.

It was like being the smart kid. You were given so much pressure to perform and to get good grades. Everyone outright expected you to get the highest grades, or to know every answer. The moment you failed, everyone looked down on you and rejoiced on being better than the supposed smart kid. It was such an accomplishment to beat the person who was supposed to be the smartest. But, even the smart kids have to fail sometimes. You can't expect them to always get the best grades, because they were human too, and no human is perfect. It was so much pressure to be the best, and when you failed, it made you feel even worse because you knew you brought down everyone's expectations. Because you knew you failed.

Everyone expected you to fill this stereotype of being the smart kid and you knew you could never fill it.

It was like how everyone expected me to be the nice kid. Sometimes I failed and thought not so nice things about certain people, and sometimes I wish I could act not so nicely to others. But if I did, I would feel like I was letting people down. I would feel like I was not fitting my stereotype so to say.

And, yes, whenever I say that acting nice all the time is a burden, you might think I'm being vain. But, think if you've ever been in any sort of leadership role, or any role, where you acted in a way that didn't fit that role. Didn't people act surprised or shocked? Weren't people a little disappointed in you?

It came to the point where being nice was no longer a personality trait, but a chore that I had to do every day.

And, being that nice, you have to bottle up every negative thing you've ever wanted to say or ever thought of. You have to hide away any horrible thing someone has ever said or done to you. You have to keep it all inside, because if you don't you won't only be letting yourself down, but everyone around you as well.

You have to keep it on the inside, and you can't let it out.

Elise knew me in that way. She knew how Midnight had affected me, and she knew how to make me feel better.