To Keep From Getting Burned

Star Of 666

Lilith's POV  : 

I wake up in a cold sweat just the memory of when I first got addicted ......just it I don't even I hate it I hate what I did to myself I know that now well I can't go to sleep now so I'm just gonna sit in silence mabey....I get my H.I.M cd and put in my favorite album Razorblade Romance and All Lips Go Blue starts to play. I get back in bed just pondering of what's to come in my life and looking back never did I realize that I would see them again never did I realize that my feelings for Chris all those years ago would come back.

I stop my pondering and get up and go to my desk and open the drawer and grab my colored pencils and and my pencils and erasers along with my charcoal and willow sticks so I can shade it perfectly for what ever I draw I also grab my sketch book and go to my bed I hum along to Right Here In My Arms as I start a sketch I loose myself in it I don't even know what I'm drawing I just zone out and let my hands do the work.

I don't even know how much time has gone by I look up to look at the clock when suddenly I see Chris in my desk chair in front of my bed causing me to gasp at how close he is to me. "What are you doing here" "I wanted to talk to you but as I came in you were in so much focus that I couldn't even get you out of it you were just humming and working not even noticing the outside world"

I nod at him then look down at my drawing I wasn't expecting what I saw it was me on the ground surrounded by grey walls and my wrists cut opens will blood seeping down my arms and onto the ground with the blood forming words of 'help' 'worthless' and all those hatred words I used used to call my self and with pills and needles and bongs all around me. I gasped at what I drew I knew this had something to do with my flashback I just knew it.

I took the drawing away from me by throwing it across the room why just why did my mind make draw this I didn't want to. I then get up and start pacing until I picked up the drawing then started to try and rip it when suddenly it took from my hands and I felt arms wrap around me I cried out and tried to pick up from the floor. Until I was turned around and put into a hug and then I remembered Chris was still there he crushed me against trying get me calm down it didn't work nothing did.

I let felt some warm come down from my face I touched my face to realize I was crying once again my sobs got louder and louder till Kuza burst through the room only in a pair of black sweatpants he looked at Chris then to me "What did you do to her" "I didn't do anything I swear" "Chris don't lie to me" I then slowly fell to the floor and then that's when the voices started I thought they left I guess not "See they see you as weak this is your fault" "I told you to leave them now you see what you have done you weren't careful enough you never were you never listen you worthless piece of shit" I grabbed my head in agony of wanting the voices to go away.

"Stop please make it stop" I say rocking back and forth "Oh not again no no no" I heard Kuza I then felt someone pick me up I don't know nor do I remember as I faded into darkness once more.