Loving Him

8.

I could feel Christopher pull up a chair next to me as my heart pounded against my chest, who knew being in chemistry class could kill you.

Christopher's knee was touching my thigh while his cologne ascended up my nose so that the only thing I could smell was mint and this other unrecognizable scent.

My heart was beating a mile per minute and I had been so focused on trying to stay calm that I didn't even realize that he had been talking.

" Wa-wait w-w-what? " I asked my voice sounding weaker then I meant it to.

" I said since we're going to need to do some of the work outside of school, when would you like to meet up? "

Christopher's voice was very masculine, when he spoke his voice demanded attention and not in that loud heavy voice but more of that soft but very deep voice that you couldn't help but want to listen to all the time.

And that's exactly what I wanted to do.

" Wh-whenever i-is f-fine with me " I wanted to slap myself for being an idiot and stuttering with every sentence I spoke, but I couldn't calm down my nerves long enough to actually speak clearly.

" I have practice today but if you don't mind waiting then we can either go to your house or mine so we can finish this mini-project" Christopher asked

" Um yeah t-that's fine "

" Okay so meet- " but before he could finish talking the bell rang telling us that the block was over.

Christopher quickly got up and left, leaving me wondering what he was going to say. I could finally breath properly considering Christopher wasn't close to me anymore.

That's one thing I hated about being close to him, my eyes were hungry to see him and my heart yearned to be close to him but my brain had a different opinion.

I pushed the classroom door open knowing that if I stayed any longer I would be late to my next class.

The next few classes went by in a blur and before I knew it the bell signaling that it was time for lunch rang. I quickly packed my notebooks into my backpack and started walking down the hallways to the cafeteria.

I wanted to be quick and get my lunch fast so that I wouldn't have to bump into Ashley and her cliche group of friends. Although I felt bad for always trying to dodge Ashley I felt that it's better that I not sit with her; Ashley didn't understand how much I hate being around the "popular" crowd and also the fact that I don't like to stand out even a little bit.

Let's also not forget the fact that Christopher sat at the exact same table.

But I guess fate wasn't on my side because as I turned the corner that would lead to the two big double doors, Ashley and her friends were standing in front the entrance and before I could hide away Ashley had already spotted me.

" Von! come here" Ashley's voice could be heard even outside the building and I always felt embarrassed every time she would call my name and everybody would turn their heads to see who she was calling.

" OMG Vonnie I haven't seen you in such a long time" She said with her white teeth on display.

" Y-yeah sorry I-I've j-just been busy" I replied

All of Ashley's friends had turned round to see who she was talking to and as all their eyes trained on me I felt like an animal on display and let me tell you it didn't feel very good.

" You're always busy with school but never take the time to be busy having fun " She said back

I didn't exactly know how to answer back to her statement so I stayed quite.

" But since I found you, why don't you come sit with me? " I had dreaded this questions so much even though I knew that sooner or later it would come.

" I-I really can't Ash " I said with plea in my voice.

" Come on, every time I ask you always make up an excuse and this time I won't take no for an answer"

I knew that I couldn't say no to her this time.

Ashley hooked her arm with mine and she pulled me into the cafeteria. Her friends followed behind her and I felt like I was about to pass out any minute but I didn't want to embarrass my self anymore than I had.

As I looked at the different options they had, I just decided to go with a strawberry lemonade because I couldn't risk being called fat again.

All the girls behind me snickered when they saw me pick up the lemonade and I was reminded all over again how I'll never be good enough for anyone in my life.

We had all sat down at the table after everyone had paid for their lunches and almost immediately everybody started talking about a new magazine.

Although I hated stereotyping I couldn't help but notice how the scene in front of me was just like from the movies. All the girls were talking at the same time and they were all laughing at the same time.

It made me jealous to see how everybody was so comfortable laughing, joking, and playing around and in general just being themselves. I used to be like that too at some point in my life, but after the accident I couldn't bare to smile and be happy knowing that it was all my fault.

" Okay so enough about Vogue, what I really want to know is what happened with Ash and C.J " Said one of Ashley's friends

After I heard what that girl said I toned myself in because I wanted to know too, in fact I didn't know there was a problem going on with Ashley and Christopher.

" Well as you all know after the date Christopher didn't kiss me, which to be honest surprised me"

That fact surprised me too because Ashley has told me that after one date with a guy she has him wrapped around her finger.

" ....and Sunday night he called me and said that maybe we should stop "

" Wait what?! "

" No way! "

" He did that? "

All the girls started shouting at once and I also was very surprised and at the same time very confused.

Was Christopher the type of guy to break up with a girl over the phone?

Why did Christopher end it with Ashley before it even started?

Why wasn't Ashley mad?

and why did I feel relieved?