Let Go (Wattys 2017)

Chapter Four-Reflections

"Why do you care?" I asked holding on to his shirt as if it was the only thing that was keeping me alive. Because right know, I think he was. No matter how much I knew I was going to push him away, I knew he was the one that I would rely on.

"Because everyone has their secrets." He laughed awkwardly in my hair. It was a gleeful laugh but that tinge of sadness still lingered in his voice. It was like he was laughing at a past memory.

"Will you tell me your secrets?" I asked him my gaze sat on the cold damp grass that drenched my clothes. I shivered at the cold silence that made my neck hairs stand on end. I felt him tense as the question escaped my lips.

"It's okay." I whispered. I guess everything is not meant to be known. I heard him sigh as he ran a hand through my hair making me look up at him. A small smile set in on his face as a glimmer of light lit his eyes, "One day at a time." He whispered.

I smiled nodding at him, he took my hand in his and helped me to my feet. We walked over to my house in silence, listening to the soft tap of our own footsteps. I paused near the door turning to look at him.

He let a small smirk slide onto his face. I felt a smile tug at my lips but refused to give him the satisfaction, only letting a sly smirk slide on my face. I felt him stare at me with wide yet calm eyes and I knew I was staring back. I studied him closely, the way his purple eyes had a tinge of gray at the edges, his dimple that popped out of his left cheek weather he was smiling or not, and the smooth pink of his lips.

I jumped as the door swung open breaking me from my thoughts not to mention causing me to nearly fall. Luckily, I was caught in someone's arms.

I looked up to find Tim. He looked from me to Adam with a disapproving look before groaning, "Honestly, Molly I'm not your bed, so I'll very much appreciate it if you get off of me." With that he pushed me to my feet. I turned to meet Tim with a deathly scowl.

He dramatically rolled his eyes before looking over my head, "Sorry Adam, Molly can be a bit persistent." I gave him a what the fuck look before I heard Adam chuckle behind me.

"I like persistent." I turned and scowled at him my face probably a horrific red. I opened mouth to curse him out but I was immediately interrupted, "Did you want go to my room she can't bother us there. I just got the new Call Of Duty." Tim said nudging me inside the house.

"Nah I got to go my mom will be here soon but thanks anyway see you later Tim." Adam said as he jogged away. That boy was something extrodinary. He made me want to know every little thing about him. I let out a sigh as Tim closed the door. One day at a time Molly, one day at a time.

"Look you stay away from that guy." Tim said towering over me. I gawked at him in horror. He stood over me anger written on his face as his sandy blonde hair feel into his eyes.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" I said through gritted teeth. He put his finger in my face invading my personal space. I slapped his hand away from me, I noticed how he pumped out his chest and took a stepped forward as if daring me to do it again. "Keep your finger out of my face." I hissed.

"Listen Adam is a good friend of mine with a promising future. What he doesn't need is some lying little girl tricking him and then afterwards proclaiming rape. Especially not a suicidal one." He hissed before pushing past me. My mouth dropped and my fist tightened at my sides.

"Fuck you Tim! FUCK YOU!" I yelled as he walked up the stairs. He stopped and started at me with a flaring nose they reminded me of a mad bull. "NO FUCK YOU! YOU SUICIDAL BITCH! GO CUT YOURSELF BITCH!" Tim screamed before stompping upstairs.

I felt the tears that stained my cheeks travel to my mouth. "GO TO HELL TIM! YOU CAN ALL GO TO HELL!" I screamed punching the wall. My fist left bloody marks on the white paint.

"What's wrong?" My mom came out the bathroom all dolled up. Where was she going? It was just like her, abandoning me when i needed her the most. Fuck her too. I ignored her question slowly walking up the stairs,"Me and your father are going out we won't be back till later tonight." Mom called behind me.

She sighed behind me, I knew I hurt her every time I did this, but that was the point. Although, I knew on the inside the only person who could feel my hurt was me.

I slammed the door to my room flopping down on the bed. Tears yelled down at my cheek. I hate me, I hate my life, but it's all my fault. I lifted my head to see my reflection in the mirror that sat across from me.

My hair was a mess, black mascara ran down my cheeks, my skin was a pasty color and my eyes held a deep sadness. I stared at the girl across from me and attempted to smirk. I wanted atleast a small glimpse of the girl I used to be. But it only made my heart drop when I couldn't.

I looked to the side where a picture of the old me stood smiling happily with Lola. I glanced back and forth between the mirror an the photo. The pace of my heart quickened. I could feel the anger grow inside of me and my nose flare. I took angry steps towards the dresser grabbing the hair dryer. It came down with a deathly crash. Glass fragments flew everywhere. It made me smile and I completely lost it.

I tore the pictures, broke anything that I could, so I basically destroyed my room. I pulled off my shirt revealing the initials of my attacker. I broke down in tears laying down in the middle of the mess I created. I gently curled myself in a ball. Capturing a glass shard in my hand I gripped it tight the blood staining the tile floor. I smiled before drifting into a sudden sleep.