The Nerd <<ON HOLD>>

Yes, You Are Retarded

"I'm stupid."

"No, you're not."

"I'm useless!"

"Not really."

"I suck at math."

"You just need more practice."

"I'm retarded!"

"Yes! You are!"

"Wait, what?"

"Like I said, you're retarded," I said, shrugging my shoulders.

"Sheesh! Savage!"

I shrugged again.

"What kind of tutor are you? So much for encouraging," he moaned sarcastically.

I laughed. "Who said tutors had to be encouraging?"

Jonah's eyes shot up from his worksheet, and looked at me. "Touché."

"Come on. You need to focus."

He looked at me, cocking an eyebrow.

"How'd I do?"

"Yeah, sooooooooo encouraging."

Guys, note the sarcasm.

"Well, thanks," I said, brushing it off. "Now," I started, changing my tone of voice, "start doing those damn questions, Bright!"

Jonah chuckled, "Sir, yes, sir!" he replied, feigning a salute.

"Good. Now get on with it."

So, you'd probably guess. It was Thursday. Yes, Thursday. That dreadful day of the week I had to spend two hours with this idiot.

Nah, I'm kidding.

I mean, yeah sure, he's not the brightest spark, but hey? There's always room for improvement, right?

So, anyways, we were doing calculus. Yeah, yeah, good old calculus.

Our study session was abruptly interrupted by a short, sharp knock.

"Hola!" Jonah's mom called, opening his door. "I brought brownies!" she announced, making the 's' of brownies linger in the air.

Jonah immediately fist pumped the air. "Yes!"

Mrs. Bright shrugged, "It's really nothing, you know. I mean, what can I say? I am the most amazing, awesomess, beautifulest, youngest, coolest mom in the universe!"

Jonah rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah. Youngest," he muttered between bites of chewing his brownie.

"I heard that!" Jonah's mom said, smacking the back of his head. "Excuse you, mister."

"Sorry, mom," Jonah said, his voice muffled because his mouth was full.

Then she turned to me. "Ugh, boys," she said, rolling her eyes.

I grinned. She really was a pretty awesome mom. Although those adjectives she used weren't technically right.

Call me a nerd.

She left the tray of brownies in Jonah's room, and came back with two bowls of ice-cream. Two, generous scoops of vanilla ice-cream inside.

Literally, my mouth was drooling.

"You're not allergic to anything, hun, right?" she asked, before placing the bowls down.

I shook my head. Nope! And lucky for me. I mean, I feel so sorry for those poor people that actually have to watch what they eat twenty-four seven. Like, gees. What a horrible, sad life.