Secrets And Lies

Chapter 22: Space And Costumes.

Axel

     "Bro, you're taking this really hard," Foster said, throwing me the football.

      "I'm fine.." I shrugged, throwing it back.

     "Yeah, okay.." He replied sarcastically. "You're all mopey."

      "I am not.."

     "Dude, you haven't been to a party in a month, and your game is off."

     "We're undefeated. I don't know what you're talking about." Not feeling our game of catch or this conversation, I sat down on his lawn, my forearms on my knees

    "Yeah, but you've been sacked more times the last game than the whole time I have known you.

"Fuck..." I scrubbed my hand over my face hard.

    He was right, my game was off, and it was because of Ryan. Seeing her at the games would distract me. I couldn't afford it, not when state was on the line. The only time she talked to me since she ran out of the cafeteria was our group presentation. And even then, I got monosyllables. I felt an empty pit in my stomach every day since Quade's blow up.

I couldn't even get her to answer my texts, let alone my calls. After the twentieth text, she finally responded with, 'I need space, please stop texting me, Axel.' She wouldn't even call me Ass-Hat or Fuck-Face.  I would much rather have her yelling at me than giving me the silent treatment or acting like I didn't exist. At least that way, she would have been talking to me. She wouldn't even eat lunch at school. Every day she, Sam, Quade, and Taylor would go off-campus. Foster wasn't too happy with me for that, and he made sure to stay with me and feed my guilt.

      As much as her absence hurt, what killed me the most was how depressed she looked. The few times she would grace me with a glance, her face would be blank. Her eyes, however, held defeat and regret. I felt an enormous amount of guilt for having some part in making her feel like this.

     I couldn't wrap my head around it. I didn't even open my smart-ass mouth this time. But it didn't do any good, she still shut me out.

"Luke is having his annual Halloween party this weekend. We should go." Foster's voice broke me from my self-berating.

"Is Ryan going?" I said the only thing that was on my mind.

     "I don't know, Taylor's trying to get her to go, but I don't know if she will. Do you want her to be there?"

     "What's the point? She's giving me the cold shoulder, and it is eating at me."

    All of this shit is the reason I stayed away from relationships. Someone always got hurt.

     "Well, if she does go, it's a big house. I'm sure that you won't see her much. Just don't trash the place."

     "Fuck off, Black.." I  laughed for the first time in a month.

     If I go and she's there, I can only hope that she will give me another chance to make things right with her and with Quade. I just don't know how I do that when I don't understand why he hates me so much in the first place. I know It all stemmed from the game, but we always tried to outdo each other before with girls and still got along, no matter who won. There was more to this, and I would have to get him to talk to me before I could understand.

     "Count me in."

Ryan

     "I'm not going... just drop it." I crossed my arms, sitting on a stool at the counter of Turning Pages Café' and Books, Sam's family's place.