Secrets And Lies

Chapter 53- Just stop!

Ryan

It had been a week since the faceless had a face—a  face that was etched into my mind. With every nightmare I endured since, his face was there, sneering back at me. I found myself wishing that I could forget his face again. I didn't know it then, but when he was just a shadow in my subconscious, I was able to bounce back with a lot less effort. I was able to be woken up easier and knew that they were just dreams.

I thought that my mind was just filling in blanks to connect the dots; surely not everything I experienced in those terror-filled states really happened. Now I knew that everything I had dreamed was real—every gut-wrenching detail. My mind wasn't just trying to fill in the gaps with false details.  Ignorance really was bliss.

I stared at Axel's sleeping form. Something that I have been doing for the last hour and a half. After he brought me out of my latest nightmare, I had trouble falling asleep. As usual, he was worried—as usual, I assured him I was okay. I wasn't.

Since we met with Trey, he had been here every night. And every night, Axel had been subjected to my kicking and flailing. He tried to hide how tired he was from the lack of sleep, but I knew better. He fell asleep in class, which wouldn't have been totally out of character for him. But falling asleep during P.E was something only the sleep-deprived could accomplish.

After he had consoled me a few hours ago, I had made it a point to act like I was sleeping so he would drift off.

I used to envy Axel. On nights when my nightmares were tolerable or non-existent, he fell asleep quickly and deeply. And I knew that had to be the case before me. Now he had a girlfriend who used him as a punching bag every night.

I watched his chest rise and fall—the slight REM movement of his eyes behind his lids. It was peaceful. So peaceful that I started to see double as I tried to keep my own eyes open. The rhythmic sound of his breathing was causing me to drift. As much as I needed to, I didn't want to sleep. I didn't want to wake him if I entered the depraved depths of my memories.

I fought for control over my traitorous eyelids. A loud snore and Axel pulling me to him, had me jumping awake just as I was falling off the cliff.

My sudden jolt must have done the same to him because his eyes popped open. He looked around a bit disoriented before a lazy smile played on his lips.

"Good morning.." he yawned, then kissed my temple.

"Good morning, dragon breath."

I scrunched my nose that his yawn had assaulted.
He immediately turned his face away on a chuckle.

"Sorry." He apologized.

Axel's smile was still plastered to his face when he turned back to face me. I tore my gaze away from his beautiful face long enough to reach over him and grab my phone off the nightstand. Looking at the time, I sighed in disappointment.

"Shit," Axel shook his head. "Is that the time already?"

He pressed his lips to my forehead before sitting up and he stretching his arms over his head. I still couldn't stop staring at him like it was the first time I saw his naked form. Axel was amazing in all aspects. He must have sensed my gaze on him because he stopped mid-stretch and looked over his shoulder.

" Don't ever stop doing that." He said with a smirk.

"And what am I doing?" I asked, sitting up myself.

"Eye-fucking me."

Axel turned to face me when I didn't immediately respond. He was trying to be his cocky self and make me smile. I offered him a small one for the effort.