April 14, 2005
Perhaps I am judging them too harshly. While they might not be the kind of help that I'm looking for, my assistants put their utmost effort into what they do. Never have I seen a group of individuals so enthusiastic about coffee runs. ...Even mice can be trained, so perhaps all they need is a push in the right direction.
Yes, that's it—I should try to educate them. Turn them into the aides that I need, in contrast to the interns that I have been given. I'll start by having them help with the maintenance of the determination extractor. It's been long overdue for a good cleaning. I will turn them into scientists yet!
***
They're hopeless. I... I can't even... (sigh). I've met more intelligent rocks. It was a simple task—all they had to do was wipe down the machine! But nooooo. Somehow, they managed to make the whole thing fall apart. When I checked it yesterday, there wasn't a single screw loose, but now... Well, I meant to improve it anyway. Now that it's in pieces, I suppose I have my chance to enhance its efficiency.
I would ask them to help me—perhaps they can learn through observation—but they were so horrified at their own grievous error that they have barricaded themselves in the break room. Their shame is endearing. However, true scientists do not quit at the first stumbling block. We learn from our mistakes, and carry on. That is a lesson that I was forced to learn early, and one that I wish to impress on my assistants.
I can only hope that they don't have to maim themselves to learn it. (A broken skull tends to be a painful lifelong reminder of previous idiocy.)
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My Greatest Experiment (Skelebros' Origin Story)
FanfictionAfter much research and theorizing, I've decided that I'm going to attempt it. It's risky, but I'm so desperate at this point that I'm willing to put my own well being on the line. If I survive, this may just turn out to be very... interesting. Thi...
