We Are The Gummers (part one)

The Break Downs

today Don was going to watch her act and the kids where staying at the house with the baby sitter

during the shooting they had finally gotten to film the scene where she looses the baby to the dingo and when she read the script for that day she knew that it was going to be hard but she knew she would make i through or would she and today they where shooting on sight and they had actual people where playing the tourists

"ok and action" the director yelled Meryl started to chase the little boy that was supposed to be her son and she was giggling while she played with him then she got back to Sam and the rest of the cast a started the scene but once it got to the part where she hears the dingo then scream when she sees the fake blood she cried not because she was told to but because the blood reminded her of Blake and all the blood that he was covered in when he came out and she couldn't stop crying she screamed "the dingo took my baby" even though her mind was telling her you couldn't protect you baby like a real mother should even though it has been month's since Blake's death the bad thought wouldn't stop it was like she was stuck on a radio station that only played bad thought and she couldn't turn the radio off

"I did I tried to save him I tried but I couldn't save him I failed I failed as a mother I should have tried harder I could have saved him" Meryl screamed and the director knowing what happened with Blake yelled cut for the day Don already ran to her side when she said the first sentence he cried along with her he finally let his guard down and cried along side his wife he cried for her all tears he cried at nigh because he didn't want to show his wife the her rock and crumbled the one thing she used to hold onto because she was falling off the cliff and he was the last rock the hadn't slipped out from under her feet and she clung to him because he, the kids, brothers , and her parents where all she had but Don was the only rock big enough for her to grab and hold onto but now that he let his guard down his rock was shrink and she was loosing her grip but she couldn't let go not just yet she wasn't ready to loose all hope she knew that with Don she could get through anything even this but yet every time she was reminded of him she cried no she sob she sob for him the son she was going to love so much she already loved him but he never got to feel that love and his siblings loved him and they never even met him but they still loved him and Henry all he ever wanted was a little brother and when she was finally going to give him one she failed and everything came crumbling down she lost Blake then she shut down and she shut everyone out even her own living children till Don pulled her closer to ground and farther away from danger and now the bottom of the cliff seemed like it was closing in on her and the walls were falling around her

"I tried I tried" was all she kept whimpering

"I know you tried but he just wasn't meant for this world it wasn't your fault he still loves you and he knows you love him too" Don soothed

"no it was my fault he never got to feel how much I love him I never got to smother him so much he was embarrassed in front of his friends I tried everything and you don't get to say it wasn't my fault because it was my fault my body couldn't do its job and build a healthy baby you can't say you know because you don't know the feeling of your baby being ripped from your body and being told that your body wasn't capable of doing its jobs at keeping you baby safe and creating a healthy one you don't have the right to say that" Meryl was letting it all out on Don and he was taking it because he knew she needed the outlet and he was going to provide her with it he took it like a brick wall being hit with cotton balls he didn't let any of it phase him

"I know I don't have the right to say anything cause I don't know the feeling of something that I love being ripped from my body but he was my son too and I cry at night for him I cry when you are like this because it hurts for me to see you like this it hurts me to see you hurt it is like what twins have but its with me and you when you hurt I hurt when you feel joy I feel joy we are one and that's how it is always going to be no matter what happens we are meant for each other that what we where put on this green earth for to know when the other is hurt and to heel them and to know what is wrong that is why we fit so perfectly" Don cried

"will it ever stop" Meryl cried

"will what ever stop my love" Don sniffled

"the hurt"Meryl sobbed

"It will not stop completely but it will subside and you will move on and you will still feel the sting but I wont hurt anymore the Band-aid will always be there and waiting for it to get ripped off and changed but it will sooth the storm will calm and the waves will die down until the next storm then the band-aid will be removed and the wound opened but until then I will always be here to help the wound to heal" Don calmed

"you think" Meryl cried

"no I know"Don stated 

"I love you" Meryl sobbed

"I love you too no matter happens to us i will always love you" soothed grabbing her and holding her head to his chest they sat there till Meryl stopped crying and ended falling asleep on Don and so her picked her up and carried her to the car

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when they got home

"I love you my darling" he whispered as he placed a gentle kiss on her forehead and went downstairs to go check on the kids "it will all stop hurting soon I promise if it the last thing I do" Don wanted his wife back she was always the one lighten him when he had a bad day when they met he was dead and she brought him back to life now she broken and he is going to heal her