We Are The Gummers (part one)

I can't

two weeks after the funeral Meryl went into a state of depression the doctor put it off as Postpartum depression but Don knew better he knew It had something to do with the fact that she believed it was her fault the they  lost Blake but Don knew better he believed that the world wasn't ready for him and his brilliance and Don tried to tell her this but she just would shut him out she wouldn't talk to him she couldn't even look at him she felt so guilty for loosing his second son she also felt bad for loosing Henry's only brother what was worse she thought she was a terrible mother I mean she hadn't even talked to her children about it and every time Grace saw her she tried to touch her belly and she would say baby causing Meryl to break out into tears once again Grace was frightened she thought she did something wrong but Don would hear his wife and would come a take Grace away and would distract her with toys and the day following that incident Meryl refused to come out of her and Don's room she felt so bad about all this she was pushing away everyone that would try to help her she even pushed away her children and husband but that didn't stop Don from trying to help her through this so he tried to approach her about it

"honey" Don said calmly as he opened the door to their shared bedroom she didn't answer so he pressed  on "can I lay next to you" he questioned hesitantly Meryl didn't say anything but she moved over so Don had room to lay behind her so he took that as a sign to lay be hind her so he did he spooned her and placed his hands on her stomach and his chin on her upper shoulder Meryl gently placed her frail hands on top of his she hardly ate anymore causing her to loose a majority of her body weight this frightened Don

"I'm sorry"Meryl sighed

"what for my love" Don asked shocked that she was talking to him again

"for loosing him for being a terrible mother to our children for failing at being the wife you needed through a time like this I'm sorry for not fulfilling my job in carrying him to term and giving you a healthy son like any other mother would have done" Meryl was crying by now

"sshh my love it is not your fault the world wasn't ready for him and you are an amazing mother to our  children they are the luckiest children to have you for their mother and I am so lucky to have gotten the chance to marry a person like you I sometimes feel like I don't deserve you you are to good to be true but I'm so glad it is true" Don was crying to at the sight of seeing his wife cry for a true man only cried for their family

"but I lost our son I failed you I failed you the love of my life I failed our children I failed giving Henry his brother that he wanted so badly I failed my family I'm just a big failure" Meryl sobbed

"no my love you are not a failure and you could never fail me and Henry doesn't blame you for anything no one does no one but you" Don soothed but he couldn't stop Meryl from sobbing she turned around in his arms and buried her head in his chest

"I--I--I can't I just can't I so sorry I know you say it isn't my fault but I can't get the sight out of my head of him looking at me and telling me I failed him I can't get rid of it" Meryl sobbed

"sshh you didn't fail him he didn't feel any pain love he knows you didn't fail him he loves you know matter what" Don soothed as he placed sweet and gentle kisses on her head trying to calm her down

"you think so" Meryl sniffled looking up into her husbands eyes

"no love I know so now what to you say we go talk to our children" Don said enthusiastically

"yeah" Meryl smiled making Don smile because he hasn't seen her smile like that since the moment they found out Blake was a boy

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"kids come here" Don called

"yes dad" They all called except for Grace she didn't like calling him that

"your mother and I would like to talk to you about somethings that have happened since we lost Blake"Don said

"what about" Henry inquired

" I want to say I'm sorry for not being the mother you guys needed I never noticed how bad I let everything get I shut you all out and the last thing I wanted to do was to shut you guys out I love you you are my babies"Meryl cried

"no need to say sorry mommy we love you and we understand that it hurts to loose someone you love" Mamie soothed giving her mom a hug

"yeah mom we love you and we know you didn't shut us out on purpose" Henry soothed joining in on the hug with his sister and mother

"whats goin'  os" Grace asked

"sweetie baby is gone" Don informed

"what hapsens to baby" Grace asked

"he passed away" at Don's words about their son Meryl let out aloud sob

"mommy" Grace said as she gave her crying mother a hug all the hugs made Meryl feel better about what happened with Blake Don joined in enveloping his family in his arms and finally being at peace with knowing his wife was better and would finally talk to him

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Sorry for not updating for so long but I named Blake after my late baby brother and I was hard to write about but I'm better now I hope you enjoy