On Command ~ Sequel to Lost Heros

What Happens to Failures

*Claire's P.O.V*

You didn't see the way he looked at me. The way his eyes held a glimpse of recognition then, in an instant turn stone cold. The way he readied his arm to give me that fatal blow. I held him for as long as I could. Trying to bring him back somehow in hopes that he would come back with me out of this hell but it was clear that he was gone.
So therefore, you have no right to judge me for pulling out a gun on him and shooting him. Guilt ran through my veins as thick as tar but my desire to not die by his hand fueled my legs to keep running. I ran and ran, outrunning all of the Hydra agents and special task forces that were being sent to stop me. The only person that could've possibly stopped me had a bullet in his leg so I had no trouble making my way out of the Hydra base and onto the mother cycle I carefully hid to make my way back to the city.
I rode as fast as I could. The wind that whipped at my face swiped away the tears that were falling freely from my eyes.

I'm so sorry I couldn't save you. I'm so so sorry

Later that Day

     I was in a cheap motel room for the night. After making sure that hydra hadn't followed me, of course. I used this time to address my wounds. My neck was the most obvious as I looked in the mirror. Already I could see the dark purple marks from how tightly he tried to choke me and I winced as I barely touched them. I lifted my shirt to see other bruises on my side and felt relieved when nothing was broken.
When I looked at my face, I no longer wondered why the people at the front desk looked at me with wide eyes. I had a cut on my lower lip and a bruise on my cheek that hurt like a bitch. I grimaced at the sight of me and decided to take a shower.

When I finally got out after what felt like hours of trying to wash all of the blood and sweat off of me, I laid down on my bed with the intention of sleep. But nothing came other than tears. Just tears and tears that would not stop. Cracked sobs filled the empty sound around me and I mentally chastised myself for being so weak.
I felt like such a failure. The Winter Soldier was still suck in there because of me. He's most likely going to get even more tortured for allowing me to escape. It seems that I've made a bigger mess than what was already on the table.
I realized now that it was foolish of me to go on a rescue mission this way. It was actually foolish to go at all. I was lucky and I thought that just maybe I could use it again to save the winter soldier before it expired. But hydra had its claws deep in this matter and had no intentions of letting it go.

Hydra is too powerful, I know that now.

*Winter Soldier's P.O.V*

    My leg had been taken care of and was now relieved of almost all the pain. My enhanced anatomy would take care of the rest in a matter of a few short days. I wish the same could be said for my mind. It was all a mess in there with more questions than answers that I'm not a hundred percent sure I want to know the answer to. But at the moment I had no time to dwell on them. Pierce was standing angrily in front of me which meant that today was not going to be one of my best.

"When you saved me, you said you loved me. . . " Her terribly smooth voice raked my brain and had me feeling like a fool. How could I be so stupid as to listen to her for even a second. If I had stayed on top of my game she would be dead and I wouldn't be in this situation.

Well, you have to admit she has always been interesting. Not to mention, she wasn't lying. You know when people lie and she didn't say that just to mess with you.

I mentally rolled my eyes at my defiant thoughts. As right as they were sometimes, listening to them only got me in trouble.

"Soldier," A man from somewhere else in the room finally said. "Mission report."
I sighed, "Mission unsuccessful. Target got away." Pierce eyes me closely, "And why was that?" I looked away from his gaze, "I got distracted and she made it so that I could not go after her."
"What did she do to you?" He asked. "She said something impossible, sir." They looked at me to continue and I really wish I didn't have to. "She wanted to save me. That when I saved her, I said I loved her," I mumbled that last part but they heard it nonetheless. I decided to try asking a question of my own, "What did she mean by that?" Pierce stalked around the room, "The Nyx managed to trick you, Soldier. She convinced you to aid in her escape from our grasp and into the enemy's. There is no telling what she will do now. We decided to take your memories of her to spare you the shame and humiliation of her trickery on you."

Guess my instincts were wrong

A Week Later

*Claire's P.O.V*

     After a week long debate with myself I decided to go back to New York where I found myself at the door of Jessie and Hanna's apartment. I knocked on the door and waited patiently for one of them to open it.
As soon as the door finally did open I was engulfed in a tight hug with Hanna's blonde hair tickling my nose. I smiled and hugged her back. "I was worried sick about you," she said and pulled apart from me. Her relieved gaze hardened suddenly and she quickly pushed me inside of the apartment.
"WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING!!!" She yelled at me as I expected was to come eventually considered that I had left without telling her. The fact that Jessie hadn't come out yet meant that she was at work and I'd have to deal with the unusual state of an enraged Hanna.
I sat down on a kitchen chair and just took it with a playful smirk. She started to wave a finger at me and then proceeded to throw the nearest couch pillow at me. "DON'T YOU LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT!"

     I laughed as I caught the small pillow, "Yeah, I missed you too." She paced around the room for a bit before sitting down next to me with a defeated expression, "So, care to explain how it went going after your savior/maybe lover/winter soldier?"
I looked at my hands and played with my thumbs. "Well, I came back alone didn't I? Didn't exactly go as planned." She placed a hand on mine, "What happened?"
So I explained everything to her while trying not to break down again. At this point if I cry anymore it would just be embarrassing to myself. She just stared at me with a sorry expression which held glimpses of pity when I said I had failed.

     "I'm sure next time it'll go a lot better. You'l-" I cut her off mid sentence. "There won't be a next time, Hanna. I'm done looking for him. I did the best I could and I barely got out with my life. It's clear that Hydra is just too powerful." She let out a small gasp, "You don't mean that. He was your frien-" I shook my head, "Was. He tried to kill me and if I ever see him again I'm sure I won't be so lucky."
I'm such a coward for leaving him behind. A better person would go and get him out even if it meant dying. But I am not a better person. It's actually extremely hard to tell the good people from the bad ones. I'm struggling to even get my own life together and to think that I could've helped someone for once was an unrealistic dream. This would just end up being one of the many things that haunted me, I guess.

     From the look on her face I could tell that we were done with this part of the conversation. He cleared her throat, "I'm sure that we'll find other ways to get your memories back, Claire. " I ran a hand through my tangled hair, "That's another thing. I don't want to look into my past anymore. I'll never escape from all of what Hydra has done to me but at least I can say that it's all behind me. I don't want to try and bring back the woman who they killed. I want to make a stronger one. I don't want to force myself into her shadow."
Hanna gave my hand a squeeze and smiled sadly, "Hey as long as you stop showing up here with bigger bruises every time, I'll be fine."

I laughed and gave her a hug.