On Command ~ Sequel to Lost Heros

XOXO

     "We'll give you guys a minute," Steve said to me as soon as he saw my eyes widen at the sight of Bucky sitting on a doctors examination table.
The rest of the team and med staff followed him leaving me alone with him.

Bucky didn't look at me. He just stared at the ground with what I could tell was a shameful look. It was a painful thing to recognize. I had that same look on my a couple months ago. . .

     I cleared my throat and walked over to him slowly yet he still refused to lift his head.
"Looks like you could use a hand," I said awkwardly and cringed. Yeah maybe it was too soon to make that joke.

I stopped in my tracks when I heard a low chuckle. A smile creeped to my features as I continues walking to him and placed a hand on his back. Bucky tensed at the feeling but then relaxed. Seeing him now I could finally take him in.
All the external injuries, minus the arm, that Steve talked about were gone. Said arm was patched up in white just like the rest of his outfit. I can't remember the last time he wore so much white.
I could tell Bucky's mind was plagued with what Hydra made him do. It was in his distant gaze on the floor and the creases in between his brows. It was the low posture that held him up. To say the least, it was unbearable to watch. Especially when I could've prevented half of it.

     When I first escaped, I should've gotten him out. No matter how many times it took or how many times he didn't remember me, I should've done whatever I could to get him out. But I didn't, and so he suffered.
     When I heard of the Triskelion incident, I should've tried to find him again. I should've gone to Steve sooner. But I didn't, and so he suffered.
     Back during the war, it was my fault he got captured in the first place. My mission was unsuccessful and I should've gone in more prepared. But I didn't, and so he suffered.
     But worst of all, I didn't warn anyone about Hydra when I got out. I hid like a coward and kept moving forward regardless of who Hydra killed or what they destroyed to gain. I should've said something. But I didn't, and so he suffered.

I ran my hand up and down his back in my guilty silence. "It's not your fault," I said quietly.
Bucky lifted his head and turned to me, his striking blue eyes still shining as if we were still teenagers. I felt his hand go to mine. I squeezed it lightly and smiled at him. "It wasn't you."

     Bucky sighed, "Claire, you know as well as I do that just because it wasn't you doesn't mean that it didn't happen. It wasn't me. . . but I did it anyways." I dropped my head and let out a breath. "I know," I said, "And you know as well as I do then that we can't change what happened."
He chuckled and raised an eyebrow, "Some hell of a pep talk, doll, I'm not really feeling any better." I rolled my eyes at him, "Just listen to me, okay?"

     "We can't change what happened. That's something we have to accept. But that means that we have to use the time we have to get better from now on. We become better people then what they made us out to be."
I wrapped my arms around Bucky and he leaned against my chest. His hand was desperately clinging to my clothes.
"What if I can't become better?" He mumbled in my arms. "If one simple man found the words who's to say that somebody worse won't?"
I brought my hand to his hair and ran my fingers through it soothingly. "Bucky, I promise you I won't let anything happen to you anymore." He sat up from my grasp and moved his hand to cup my cheek.
"You're gonna be just fine," I said leaning into his touch. "You have Steve and I to help you adjust."

     Suddenly, Bucky pulled me into a strong and desperate hug. I wrapped my arms around his neck and his hand went to tangle in my hair. "What did I do to deserve you?" He asked. "I promise I won't let anything happen to you either, Claire."
He moved back and I saw his eyes study my face. It was a slight movement, but I caught it, Bucky's eyes flickered to my lips and back to my eyes.

     "How long has it been since I've kissed you?" He asked quietly and I chuckled. "Too long," I responded. "Time to change that," he mumbled and slowly, his lips were brought to mine.

It felt like sparks flying in my chest when his lips pressed against mine. His hand snaked around my neck, pulling me closer and deepening the kiss while I placed my hands on his shoulders. The kiss was passionate, slow, and way overdue. I could feel it every time his tongue brushed against mine.
All that time we spent apart couldn't possibly be conveyed in what was happening.

     When we finally pulled away, both of us were out of breath and smiling.

"How long has it been since I've said 'I love you'?" He asked with a grin on his face. I smiled and I felt my cheeks go a little red. I had forgotten they could do that. "Too long," I responded.

    "I love you, Claire."

    "I love you, Bucky."