The Third War

Chapter Thirty Three: Zoe

I don't think I did a good job, but I tried to hide my feelings from Kris. They had heard what we had done, heard that I said that I had did it. They twisted it to make me sound like a villain, a spy. I was attacked by a group of boys.

As soon as I had yelled at Kris I regretted it. It wasn't her fault, not at all. I had turned and crawled under the covers of my bed and cried. It was a horrible mistake.  By actually allowing myself to cry it opened up my emotions. I can't even remember all of it, I just remember trembling and sobbing hard trying my hardest not to let Kris hear, I didn't want her to know how bad it was. Seeing my mother dying, Gabe's panicked filled shrieks as his short life came to end too soon.

I saw little me being shoved into the lockers. I saw little me being punched in the face and my blood splattering all over the floor of the school. I saw people jeering, laughing, Kris held back by someone twice her size. The one time she hadn't been able to do anything. The one time I was beat to a pulp and she could only scream for them to stop, for me to try and fight back. Except her screams started mixing with others until the blood started swirling until I was standing in the middle spinning with my ankle sending flares of pain up my leg.

It all suddenly stopped, there was a ringing in my ears and all was dark. I thought maybe I had woken up, until I heard the thump, thump, thump, thump, of a heartbeat.

It got louder and louder until I felt my ear drums were about to burst. I covered my ears and closed my eyes and it stopped. I prayed I'd be awake. I opened my eyes to see I was at the edge of a cliff. I already knew this was going to bad, I took a step and immediately collapsed in agony. The stone cracked as I put my hands on the floor and broke away sending me tumbling into the nothingness below. I screamed and felt a hand grab my wrist.

I looked up and saw my mother, her sweet smile. As we made eye contact her smile faded, she shrieked in horror and let go of me. I was screaming and falling again.

Another person grabbing my wrist almost broke it. I looked up and saw Phoebe, I tried to croak out a plea but at the sound of my voice she too shrieked and let me go.

The next person was Dustin, he did exactly the same. There were a couple more people including Haley, Chip, and our escort from the mall.

At this point I couldn't even scream, my throat was dry, my eyes were still managing to stream out tears. The next person grabbed my hand. I looked up and saw Kris. She was looking down at me. My heart exploded into joy until she smiled. "I promised I'd never leave you...I can't believe you were so stupid."

She not only let go but pushed off so I was as far away as possible. I was caught by someone who had never been in my dreams before.

It only took Jeremy a second to realize what he had done and shake me off like a rat. I fell again this time finding enough of my voice to wail from the utter heart break of Kris and Jeremy both letting me fall to my death. I wasn't caught the last time my hands to barely hang onto the ledge of a cliff. I saw my father looking at me.

"Da-Daddy please! Help me!" I cried, begging him to save me.

He stared at me in disgust, "You're nothing but a freak."

He pulled out a gun and shot the ground around my hand hold. Spider web crack panned out and the ledge crumbled away, I fell screaming until I landed in a pile of something mildly damp. I couldn't breathe it was hot and humid.

I was sobbing, screaming and now flailing trying to free myself. I felt I hand restrain me and I screamed louder until a sheet was yanked off me and Kris was standing there looking terrified. "Zoe! Are you okay?"

I was trembling and I stumbled to my feet and wrapped my arms around her still softly crying. "What happened Zoe?"

I couldn't bring myself to repeat the dream or say anything at all. I just tried to stop crying. Eventually I shoved away from Kris.

"Zoe?"

I turned and walked to the door. "Wait! Where are you going?"

I ignored her and just ran stumbling up the stairs new tears springing to my eyes at the pain. I pushed open the door to the roof and crumbled to the ground. I buried my head in my hands, the one question burning through the mind. The one question I had ever since my first dream about my father.

I whispered utterly terrified knowing my dad wouldn't hear but wanting it out there, "Will you still love me, even when you see the freak I am?"

Of course, there was no reply.

I started crying again ashamed. Ashamed of how little control I had, ashamed of my break down. I was freezing and I didn't have any more tears. I heard the door open and imagined Kris coming out and telling me to come back inside where it was warm.

Instead I heard Jeremy's shocked voice, "Zoe! What are you doing up here? You must be freezing, are you okay?"

I sniffled and he sounded worried, "What's wrong?" I sat up shivering, "C-cold."

It wasn't a lie, I was cold.

I could tell he knew it was more than that and noticed I had been crying but obviously chose to ignore it. He sat down next me and unzipped his jacket and curled up with my head still on his chest. He wrapped it around me, and I tried to stop shivering.

Eventually I did, and he looked down after sitting perfectly still, "Good?"

I nodded. "Cool, I got an idea, be right back."

He took off his jacket and left it with me before heading back stairs. He shortly came back with my keyboard and set it down.

"Nice thing about it, is that it's battery operated."

I put it on my lap and he took a folded piece of paper out of his pocket and set it on the little stand. I looked at it for a minute and played it. He was smiling, "It's old but..."

"Very pretty."

I played it again and he muttered, "You'll love me at once, the way you did once, upon a dream."

I looked up and smiled, but it quickly faded. Standing in the doorway to the stairs was Kris. Jeremy turned around and his face fell. Kris and I stared at each other for a minute and her eyes screamed betrayal. Jeremy scrambled up and tried to make an excuse, but Kris was already marching toward him with murder in her eyes.

"Kris!"

I fell trying to stand up which made Kris pause and try to help me up. After she did this I clung to her arm and begged, "Please don't fight. It was my fault. Please."

She just stared at me and I looked down not wanting to know what she was thinking for once. I could tell she glanced at Jeremy. She took my hand and starting walking back down stairs. I risked a glance over my shoulder to see Jeremy looking thoroughly relieved at not having to see Kris.

We walked back down stairs, and refusing to lean on Kris I almost fell. She steadied me without saying a word. The good thing was my dad was pushed out of my mind. When we got back to my room Kris opened the door and I walked in. I then proceeded to sit in the corner with my arms wrapped around my knees and my head buried in my knees. Kris sat on the bed and probably glared at me. I couldn't force myself to meet her gaze. She was probably just disappointed, seeing that...I was better off staring at my knees. Eventually she sighed. I glanced up to see her walk through the bathroom back to her room and I felt terrible. I sat in silence and began to see flashes. There was a very timid knock on the door and I heard a small thud and footsteps recede. I crawled over to the door and opened it to see my keyboard. I pulled it in and shut the door. I started playing the song Jeremy had showed me a new question added unanswered and ever growing list.

Will I have to choose between Kris and Jeremy?