The Third War

Chapter Thirty Seven: Zoe

I decided to stop going up on the roof with Jeremy, so we were walking around close to the warehouses. It wasn't like I was trying to make sure Kris didn't catch us. We weren't doing anything bad and she never really told me not to.

Okay, that's a lie, she specifically said to stop. She didn't even have a real reason, she just didn't like him.

Which Jeremy could not understand why, "Why does she hate me? There was like one thing and I said it was a mistake."

"It's not your fault Jeremy, she just hates you as a person," I smiled cheerily at him.

"Oh gee thanks."

"We just need to find a way to change her mind."

He stayed quiet for a minute, "I got an idea."

He proceeded to pull out a piece of paper which turned out to be a flier. "There's a fair on the other side of town-"

I cut him off; "You, me, Kris and Dustin can go together! That'd be perfect; she can make up with Dustin and simultaneously see you're not some villain."

"Okay, but she won't want to if she knows I'm there."

"Dustin can ask her, no matter how mad she is at him she can't say no."

"Who's he again?"

"Kind of like her crush that likes her back, except they're too awkward to acknowledge it."

"Oh."

We walked in silence watching some kids run around with Chloe yelling orders at them all.

"Jeremy!"

At the shout of his name, he froze and muttered something not so nice. I turned around in sync with him to see his older sister marching toward looking furious. She came face to face with him and jabbed him in the chest with an accusing finger after every word, "Who, do, you, think, you, are?"

"Um...your brother?"

He smiled and she glared at him, "You're on duty, brother dear. Need I remind you your job? You can't just walk off whenever you want. I had to dish out a pretty good lie for you."

She turned the glare on me and narrowed her eyes, "Not mention, you're only not showing up because of her."

"I just forgot alright, I'll go, I just got to walk Zoe back."

"I'm fine," I mumbled ashamed for getting him trouble.

"Are you sure?"

He looked at me worried and I nodded. "Alright, I'll talk to Dustin later then, bye Zoe," he pushed past Julia and ran back inside the building.

"Be careful, it'd be a whole big bad ordeal for you to get lost," Julia sneered. I couldn't bring myself to meet her eyes.

"Pathetic," she turned and headed back to the building leaving me wishing I could sink into the ground.

I wasn't sure what to do; I guessed Kris would get pretty mad at me if I didn't show up eventually, so I decided to head back to my room.

"Pathetic," someone hissed in my ear.

I froze and looked around; there was no one near me. Oh no...

I tried to walk faster ignoring the pain in my ankle.

Happy thoughts Zoe, happy thoughts...

What happy thoughts? I cringed at the voice.

I finally got to the building, and practically dragged myself up the stairs. I opened the door to my room and saw Kris. She was standing with her arms folded over her chest being annoyed, relieved, and there was a small bit of sadness probably from the lingering feeling of me getting upset at her and Dustin, whatever was going on there.

You're more of the problem than anyone, I winced staring at the ground not able to hold her gaze.

That was true; I was the main problem in Kris's life. I always would be. I could've let her go, run off,  I told her she could, but the selfish part of me knew that by telling her to go I was making sure she didn't leave.

You're deceitful. You knew she wouldn't go if you acted hurt.

Acted. Had I been acting? Did I really care if Kris left? Of course I did! I needed her; I thought she needed me too. Would it have been better if we finally left each other?

"Zoe?"

My vision cleared and I saw Kris had moved closer about to shake my shoulder. Every emotion was replaced with worry.

"What?"

"I asked...if you were okay."

I just nodded and stumbled over to my keyboard. I slid down the wall and pulled it over my lap. I started playing after the slightly too big head phones were set delicately on my head. I started playing ignoring Kris's most likely worried looks. I turned the sound up playing the song Jeremy had shown me.

Now you've gotten him in trouble too, you're just bad for everyone. I saw flashes of Gabe crying as earth and fire crashed around him, my dad looking tired and beaten, my mother, dead, lying with her child wrapped in her arms. I played different songs, anything, everything. I eventually got caught in the flashing images of bloody scenes and the ones I loved dead.

Stop... I heard my own thought as if it was someone behind a door. Of course, it was ignored, insanity answers to no one.

That's all I am, an insane hopeless shell of just another victim lost in a war. I'm all alone, there's no one left, it's just me.

I saw everyone dead, Kris, Jeremy, Phoebe, Chip, my parents, little Gabe.

Alone...

"Zoe," a heard a dull mutter of my name.

"Zoe!" It grew louder.

"ZOE!" The yell made it feel like someone has taken a knife and split my brain in half. Like a gap was made so all the flashes and all the images leaked out of my head. I shakily inhaled noticing my surroundings once again. Kris was inches from my face terrified and worried.

"Zoe?" I opened my mouth to say something, but I didn't know what.

"You stopped playing, started crying, and if at all possible turned paler. You blanked out for a whole ten minutes on me."

I expected her to think I was a freak, be scared of me...she was only concerned. She just cared about if I was okay, which she voiced openly, "Are you okay?"

I nodded then whispered, "Lost in thought....I'm, I'm sorry."

She reached out and hugged me, "Don't be." I knew her next words before she muttered them, "It's not your fault."

Yes, it is, the voice whispered in my ear after Kris. I started crying into her shoulder because it had me convinced it was right.