Chapter 3
Hindi ako mapakali dahil alam ko na ang mangyayari pagkatapos nito. Kailangan kong harapin si Ethan. Kahit kahit saang anggulo ko tingnan ay gago siya. Ay mali, sya ang ama ni Calyx
"he's looking at your direction." Bulong ni Renz sa akin
"I know. Wag mo na ibulong. What would I do? Can I runaway now?" I asked him
"We both knoe that you can't runaway now. Nakita na niya si Calyx, mas magmumukha kang tanga kung tatakbo ka nanaman. Malay mo bumenta sa kanya ang palusot mo na pinaglihan mo lang siya." He told me
"Alam natin pareho na may utak si Ethan. Di siya tanga para maniwala sa dahilan kong yon." Balik konv sabi sa kanya
"Then do the right thing. Tell him the truth. Calyx needs a father, ayan na. Lumalaki na ang anak mo, anytime now maghahanap na yan nang ama." Renz said
"Mommy that guy over there is kinda creepy. He keeps looking at me." Nakaturo pa si Calyx, nang sundan ko ang tinutiro niya ay nakita kong si Ethan ang nakatingin sa amin. God. What to do?
"Maybe he thinks you're cute that's why he keeps looking at you." Tanging nasabi ko kay Calyx.
Hanggang matapos ang rehearsal ay hindi pa rin ako mapakali. Lingon ako ng lingon sa pwesto ni Ethan para tingnan kung nakatingin pa rin siya sa anak ko.
"Hey where do you wanna eat?" Sophie asked
"Anywhere. As long as there's a food for calyx. He likes steaks." I said "Where's Luke anyway?" I asked
"I told him that I'll go out with you. Kaya baka kasama sila Robi. Kakauwi lang din kasi non eh." She answered
"I saw Ethan looking at your way earlier. Kakalibitin sana kita kaso nakita kong nakatingin ka din sa kanya." Gaciella said
"Fuck. I can still feel his cold stares. I'm scared that he'll take Calyx away from me. What should I do?" Namomroblema kong tanong
"You know he's still the worst guy that I've ever known. Wala sa bokubolaryo niya ang obligasyon kaya wag kang mag alala he wouldn't take Calyx away from you." Nasaktan ako ng kaunti sa sinabi ni Grace
"So my hunch isn't wrong after all. I'm the father of that kid." Isang malutong na mura ang pinakawalan ko nang marinig ko kung sino ang nagsalita sa likod namin.
"H-how long have y-you been there?" Nauutal kong tanong
"Long enough to hear that I'm the one who's responsible for that child." Tang ina.
"Wow Ethan! Kapal nang mukha natin na mang angkin ah? Ikaw lang ba ang Ethan sa mundo?" Matapang na sagot ni Grace
"Grace stop it." Pigil ni Sophie kay Grace.
"Dude, aalis na kami. Next time ka nalang makipag usap kay Ina. Kakadating lang niya." Singit ni Renz na kanina pa tahimik
"I don't care! Tell me hanggang kailan mo balak itago na may anak ako sayo?" I see anger in his eyes. So kasalan ko pa ngayon?
"Uhm mommy do you know him. He's the one who keeps looking at me inside the church mommy!" Nakaturo pa ang daliri ni Calyx kay Ethan. When I looked back at Ethan I saw how his features softend when he saw Calyx
"Baby you go with ninang Grace, I just need to talk to him. Be nice okay?" I asked Calyx to go with Grace. He doesn't need to hear what his father would say.
"Cristina can you do this now?" Renz asked
"as if i have a choice. Eto na eh, might as well face it. Sige na, sumama ka na din muna kila Grace susunod ako sa inyo." I told him bago ko harapin si Ethan
"Why didn't you tell me that I made you pregnant?" It was the first thing he asked.
"What for? May magbabago ba? We both know that you can't be a father to that child that time." I said. I saw how angry he is while looking at his eyes. Aba! Siya pa ang may ganang magalit?
"How long do you plan to keep this as a secret? Well I guess kung hindi ka umuwi para sa kasal ni Sophie ay hinding hindi ko malalaman na may anak ako!" He angrily said
"What's the difference of telling you or not? Well in fact mas okay ang buhay ko- namin nang wala ka. Calyx doesn't need to have a father. Ako lang ay sapat na. Binuhay ko siya sa tiyan ko ng siyam na buwan at maayos ko siyang pinapalaki ngayon nang ako lang mag isa." I tried not to cry in front of him. The weak and hopeless Ina is gone.
"Hindi lang ikaw ang may karapatan Ina! Dalawa tayong bumuo sa kanya! Anong karapatan mong mag desisyon nang ikaw lang mag isa?" Sumbat niya sa akin
"Sino ba sa ating dalawa ang nag taboy? I tried to tell you okay!! Pero tangina mo itinaboy mo ako kasama ang anak mo. Ngayon, nagyon mo sabihin sa akin ang karapatan mo!" Natahimik siya matapos kong sabihin yon
"That night Ethan, that night when I was begging you to choose me, to love me I was pregnant that time. Nilunok ko ang katiting na pride na meron ako para makiusap sayo na kahit sana kaunti ay bigyan mo ako nang pagkakataon. I was supposed to tell you that I am pregnant that time pero isiniksik mo sa utak ko na kahit anong magyari ay walang tayo. Hanggang kama lang ako at isang parausan. Ngayon mo sabihin sa akin lahat ng karapatan mo!" Agad akong umalis kahit di pa siya nakakasagot dahil anumang oras ay papatak na ang mga luha ko.
Fuck. Pakiramdam ko ay umalis ang kaluluwa ko sa katawan ko. Hindi ko alam kung paano ako nakarating aa pwesto nila Grace basta ang alam ko ay sunod sunod na ang pagpatak ng mga luha ko
"Mommy! Did that guy made you cry? Where is he? I hate him!" Narinig kong sabi ni Calyx. Agad ko siyang niyakap ng mahigpit. Ah this feels good.
"Ina what did he do to you this time?" Naiinis na tanong ni Renz
"Wala. Nag walk out lang ako. I'll tell you guys later. Umalis na tayo dito." Aya ko sa kanila
"I-im sorry if this is happening to you Ina." Sophie said
"What are you sorry for? Hindi mo naman to kasalanan." I told her
"no. If it wasn't for me, maybe Ethan will not be like this." She said
"Sophie, he chose to be like this. Anyway, he doesn't deserve someone as good as you. Don't blame yourself for the things that you didn't do." I said
Hanggang sa makarating kami sa isang restaurant ay iniisip ko pa rin ang nangyari kanina. Now that Ethan knows that we have a child, I can't stop thinking of what he might do.
"So ano? Anong plano? Ipapakilala mo ba si Ethan kay Calyx?" Mabuti na lang at nasa banyo si Calyx kasama si Renz kaya hindi niya maririnig ang tungkol sa ama niya.
"I still don't know, Grace. Pero malamang sa malamang ay nag iisip na si Ethan ng paraan para makalapit sa anak niya." I answered
"What if he asks you to marry him for the child? Papayag ka?" Sophie asked
"Honestly if you asked me that question years ago, of course my answer would be a yes with standing ovation pa, but everything has changed. Maybe maturity has changed me. Ngayon ko nalaman na hindi porket mahal mo ang isang tao ay papayag ka sa kahit anong sabihin nito. Calyx is my happiness kahit di ako pakasalan ni Ethan ay alam kong magiging masaya kaming mag ina. Ipapakilala ko si Calyx kay Ethan, pero ihahanda ko muna siya. Hindi ko kailangang pakasalan si Etha para lokohin ang anak ko na mayroon siyang isang masayang pamilya but the truth is we're not really a family. I don't want him to grow up in lies." Mahaba kong sagot sa kanila
"I'm happy that you can think straight now, Ina. You're a great mother." Nakangiting sabi ni Grace
"Lesson learned, experience is the best teacher sabi nga nila at simula ng magyari sa akin lahat ng ito, naniniwala na nga ako sa kasabihang yon." I told her
