The Ultimate Love

DONT LET YOUR JOY DOWN

In recent days i've been through some hard stuff. And i feel like my joy is getting hard to enjoy.

Like last week something came up and the people wanted me to do an activity w/ them so i said yes. Well they came back and said they weren't doin it.,.. Week later i found they did the activity w/out me and it cut me deep.

Its hurts b/c I'm never involved with things and they actually want me to do it and then they cut me off.

I felt like i was slapped in the face.

When that happened, i felt like how i did last year

-a bother to others

-invisible

-looked over by others

-not wanted

Then i pretty much did horrible on a test that i just took and then all these projects plus the feeling of rejection again is coming....

Holding back tears while walking in the hallways at school... Again

When that feeling starts to come and you feel like falling back into that comfort hole, pray!!!! And start asking God for his help

This is what is say in my brain

"Ohh jesus help me, goodness help me"

"Uhhh well i screwed up.... God help me, don't let me pull into that hole again, keep me strong come on jesus come on"

See just talk to God.

"Ok God i got a test and i have no clue whats goin on in this section sooooo, u know help me plzz and put the answers in my head.... I don't mind... Haha"

Have fun and joke when talking to God.

I don't like being told how to do things and just to know i can pray the way i want to God just makes me feel more comfortable while having my time with him

So i was walking in the hallway and Satan was putting those dark thoughts in my head like

-you feeling worthless again

-ya im not smart idk why everybody says i am

-uhhh i knew they were goin to kick me to the curve... I always mess up everything

When the bellrang for my next period my teacher started her devotion

She told us that hard times come and trials attack us and she told us to stay strong and don't let temporary things take your joy.

It was weird that she was saying that b/c i wasn't very jolly b/4 that

When i heard her say that i felt like God was using my teacher to speak to me and to not worry because he hears me and he wants me to be happy.

So don't stress so hard over something and i KNOW its hard to ignore the those dark thoughts. God wants to see you happy and not worrying over temporary things.

I started thanking God trying to forget my thoughts.

Time heals but you surely wont forget the scars left

Forgive but never forget