ONE LAST TIME

Closed doors and lies

The thing about heartbreak is it hurts.
Its hurts like fucking hell to lose someone around whom you centred your life. It hurts watching him or her walk away. It hurts making a whole new routine without that person. It hurts feeling weak and not having that person around.

But most importantly it breaks you when you see that someone has moved on and is happy.
That the memories have been locked away and now no more present to haunt him.
And just like that simple as ever,

I felt that tiny beating thing inside me break.
Even after two months seeing him made my breath hitch,my step falter,my cheeks flush but his hands, the same one that wiped the tears off my face near a certain fountain on a starry night a long time ago, was on someone else's shoulder and his eyes crinkled while he smiled. The genuine smile he used to give.

Seems like I was the broken one.
Aren't you quite the heartbreaker Ethan?

I watch the city pass by sitting in the bus.
I don't bother answering anything to anyone and they leave me.
He is somewhere in front. I quickly block that thought out. From a seat diagonal I catch Ryan giving me a fleeting glance. He was there when I had been dragged away by Ishita.

I look at him,my eyes meeting his.
He mouths "Are you okay?" And smiles sympathetically.
How do you care Ryan? You did the same thing to me remember?

But I purse my lips and smile back.
I am here for a month. I have to go through him. Sooner or later I have to face him. That I am sure of.
What I am not sure is how still will my heart be?

Love stories hardly ever have a happy endings. I have heard that too many times. But I am a teenager and how the hell do I care? Nicholas sparks sure as hell makes it look possible.

But the way the universe is alligned, sometimes we meet that certain someone whom we can't help fall for and when he or she walks away that is when we realize we were too bright for each other so we burnt each other and all that is left is burnt embers.

Maybe Ethan and my story didn't have a happy ending. Maybe we were never meant to be. Just maybe ours was a story to remember and learn.

I wipe away a lone tear that slides down my face. Why did this happen to me?

How did I again end up in square one?
I look up as the bus comes to a stop
We were being dropped off at our host places. A girl from the high school will host two of us. I was partnered with Sia. Our host name is Briana.

She seems sweet. The moment she saw me something in her eyes had flickered like she recognized me. But she had been quick to hide it and she had hugged me gushing to both of us how much fun it will be.
We had smiled. I managed a bleak one for her sake.
She pretended not to notice it.

When I had got down the bus, he was talking to Nate. His eyes were wary when it met with mine. I remember my steps faltering but I didn't stop.
He had stepped ahead as if to stop me but maybe thought better of it.
I had turned away and walked willing myself not to cry. I can do this.

*********************************

"What are you guys wearing?"
Sia is prancing about the room searching for a nice top.
I mean she has already thrown six perfect crop tops away saying they aren't good enough.

Briana is fixing my hair smiling all the time looking at Sia amusedly.
"Girl you are gonna get yourself someone!"
I laugh at that while Sia flips her off.
Briana isn't hard to be frank with. Last night we took an entire bucket of icecream and chatted till 3.
She learnt about me and Ethan. She didn't comment except for patting my head.

"Found it"
Sia squeals holding out a grey crop top with NYC written on it.
She throws it on top of a black high waist jeans and turns around.