ONE LAST TIME

Don't be me

A/N Freaking chapter got deleted and I had to to type the whole shit again.😭😭.

He loves me.

He loves me. How dare he say those words? How dare he fucking utter those words?

I stand up abruptly and turn on my heels.
"Juve-" he flinches when I turn. I am pretty sure my eyes look hollow.

"Don't touch me."
I speak every word slowly and lowly.
"Just lis-"
"Fuck off Ryan."

I turn and nearly storm out when his fingers wrap around my wrist.
I yank it back and stop seething now.

"Listen-"
I turn to him my eyes turning into slits challenging  him to continue.
Ryan smith being the doucebag he is completely ignores my burning glare and continues making my palm connect with his face.

The whole diner goes silent. Ryan steps back a bit shocked by my slap.

I take this as my cue and storm out before my tears make their dramatic appearance.

He has no right to say those words.
He fucking throws them like they don't mean anything.
I take my phone out and stalk down my contact list.

No way in hell am I going to ride with him when we might just end up crashing over the divider.

Luke? Bri? Heck I am ready to call up Jack.
Wha-
A hand snatches my phone away and I turn dumbfounded to see Ryan still standing here.

"Just listen to me."
His voice is surprisingly calm and way too restrained.

"No. You are too late."

A strange emotion passes in his eyes but then it is back again.

"Juve I meant whatever I sa-"
I place my hand on his mouth surprising both of us.
I don't need to listen to say those words again.
He stiffens at my touch and steps back his eyes widening.

"I was serious"
I nearly retort back when I see those green eyes glistening.
Oh god!
He turns away before I can see them properly but I know.
I know he was crying.

I nod and turn to walk away when he grabs my hand.
"I heard you Ryan. Okay. I know it. Done."

He turns me towards him and lifts my chin up.
I look everywhere but at him.

 The stars are coming out and night is falling fast. 

Passers by don't give us a single glance. The citylights are slowly coming on and we are on the pavement,two strangers who meant the world to each other months ago.

Strange how things change. Guess like forever really doesn't exist.

"You never allowed me to complete."

I snap back and flinch at the look in his eyes. Gone is the sparkle that once brightened up my whole world.
There was a sad look and he was smiling slowly.

"I don't want you to be me Juve. Go before it is too late."

Confusion.
And then it is as if tons of bricks fell on me as whatever he said slowly registers in my mind.

"You are suggest-"

"Yes. I ams suggesting you to go make things right with him."
He pauses and he is shaking. But then he closes his eyes and speaks out the next words ever so slowly.

"You and he are a better equation. I wish I could have you back but I screwed up the one chance I had."

I look at him in a whole new light.
Ryan freaking smith.
He is telling me to go and make up with Ethan when he just proclaimed his love for me.
Ryan is showing me the path to pick myself up.

"I am sorry Juve. For everything again."
I nod and find my arms wrapping around him.
He steps back a bit thrown apart by my touch and then his strongs arms snake around my waist. He pulls me in closer and I am engulfed in his familiar scent.

There is a shift in our relationship.
We are no more puzzle pieces bound to fit together.
We are no more blacks and whites of a chessboard.
We are simply two people who made memories together. Wonderful ones and bad ones both.
And this is the closure we needed.

Headlights fall on us and Bri pulls up. She rolls down the window and I see Sia looking at me worriedly.

I raise my eyebrows.
"I figured you might need some space so I texted them."

Thank you Ryan.
But I don't say it.
I walk towards the car when a sudden impulse makes me turn back.
He seems surprised and before I knew what the hell was I doing,
I plant a soft kiss on his forehead.
For all those times.

He stands there dumbfounded.
"You will find someone whom you truely deserve someday. Someone who can love you the way you need. "
I smile at him one last time.

This is probably goodbye. No more small talks in school.
I swallow the hot lump in my throat.
I climb into the car and Bri immediately guns the engine.

No one asks me anything and I know Sia is dying too but she controls it for my sake.
And I am thankful.
*********************************

Ryan's pov.

I watch her car turn around the corner and disappear while the frost closes in around my heart.

"You will find someone whom you truely deserve someday. Someone who can love you the way you  need."

The feeling of her lips on my forehead lingers on my forehead.
Truth is Juve,I found that girl a long time ago but I screwed up.
I lost her . Broke her. Dumped her.

She loved me way more than I need.

Then someone with more balls than me came and picked her up. Made her more happy than I ever could.

Seeing her kiss Ethan that day had snapped whatever fucking ego I was holding on to.

And then when he broke her , I wanted to kill him. Fucking hypocrite I am.

But I couldn't watch her like she barely existed. Even when we came to her school, she was blank and dazed.

I wanted to make things right,maybe beg her to come back but when I saw her giving her blood to Ethan despite all his screwups, I knew it.
I had lost her.

She will never love me the way she loved him.
And so I had to let her go. And this is how precisely I would love her.
From a distance. Finding happiness in her happiness.

I love you Juve and I am sorry.
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This is a short ass chapter but it was needed. Comment below.