A Second Chance To The First Time.

The After

5 years passed since I first arrived in Poresing. I sat on the coach in my living room and reminisced about everything that has happened in my life. I had evolved into a person my old self would question, someone I would have never thought I would be. So I sat there and lighted up a cigarette. The silence overwhelmed the whole apartment that I could hear the wall clock ticking. I thought of everything that has happened, carefully dissecting each and every moment. I thought to myself, what happened? Where did we lose? I imagined her face, her smile, her laugh, her scent, her touch, her entire existence. The state we would have been if we didn't lose. I remembered every moment and memory, yet I was lost.

I thought about everything that has happened in my life and started to think where it all began. "What happened to us?" I asked myself.

(Twelve)

It was first day of school for me in Poresing and everything felt normal. Most of the people already knew each other, so it was hard for me to just walk up and be friends with them. Just like most new student, I ate lunch alone. I didn't have Bas or Jay to call, but I was fine with it since I was mostly texting with Rachel anyway. The pattern was repetitive; I would wake up in the morning and text Rachel, go to school for my classes, eat lunch, go for more classes, then go back home to do my home work. I would then eat dinner, take a quick shower, then finally call Rachel at night.

A month passed, and I was slowly meeting new people. I was starting to have lunch with them, going for smoke breaks, and sometimes even go for quick snack after class. Though I was starting to live a new life in Poresing, I still missed Rachel. I imagined how it would be perfect if she was in Poresing with me, having all the freedom we wanted. My weekends were dead, mostly involving either playing video games online with Jay, or doing my clean ups in the apartment. Rachel mostly had something on during the weekends, so I was able to do my own stuff. It was either she was partying or hanging out with the girls, while I stayed and waited for her to come back home. I was starting to feel lonely in Poresing, and there were nights when I was very home sick. I missed how life was before; I missed my friends, the adventures, and going out with Rachel. I didn't want to go out and explore Poresing since there was always a chance to see other couples on dates. It just made me miss Rachel more, so I avoided going out. Truly, long distance relationships were hard. It got to a point where I called my parents one night to tell them that I just wanted to come back home. Of course, my parents tried to reason and reassure me of how I was just feeling home sick. Luckily for me, I always had Rachel to talk me out of my wrong thinking. I found it ironic since she was the reason I wanted to come back home, yet was the one who told me to stay strong and just hang in there.

Just like everyone else, life moved on. 4 months of agonising loneliness and struggle ended, and it was time to come back home for a few weeks. It was my first visit back home and I was really excited. I called a cab, and went to the airport. The flight was frustratingly longer than before. The feeling was similar to fasting where you don't get to eat or drink for a whole day until it was the right time. Helplessly, there was nothing I could do but wait. One thing was for sure, minutes felt like hours. Finally, the plane landed. I didn't check in my bag since I just wanted to get out of the airport as soon as I could. I remember the first breathe I took when I got outside. I scanned the surroundings, feeling nothing but pure joy. It was as if the thorn had been lifted from my chest. "Oh how I've missed you dirty air." I said to myself.

It was 2 a.m in the morning when my mom picked me up from the airport. It was the longest hug I have ever given my mom. I was happy and she saw that sense of relief I felt. "You're home son." She said.

I got home and hugged my dad. Even Snow was happy to see me, jumping around like a mad dog. I entered my room and the feeling was surreal. I jumped on top of my bed and immediately grabbed my phone to call Rachel. She was waiting for me, but I knew she had fallen asleep since the phone rang longer than usual.