A Second Chance To The First Time.

Eleven

(Eleven)

I was stunned. Every muscle in my body froze. Every molecule, every atom, every thing. I felt the force of falling into endless space and the space inside my gut widened. Everything was going way too fast. Yesterday I was flying and now a quick change of scenery. I was at the verge of going to a place miles away from home. Miles away from Rachel. The fear of losing Rachel sliced through my veins.

My Dad started talking about all the information and how this and that was going to benefit me. The sound of his voice was slowly vacuumed into utter silence and the corners of the house felt like it was closing in on me. I didn't know what to think or how I was supposed to feel. I started taking heavy breathes until I was panting, grasping for air. I felt something on my shoulder that brought me back to reality. "Son, are you okay?" Mom asked.

Am I okay? How am I supposed to be okay with this? Everything is going to fall apart and you're asking me if I was okay? "I can't do this right now..." I said as I tried to find the keys to my car from my backpack. I couldn't focus and I was throwing everything out from my bag. "Son..." My Dad said momentarily. Too late, I found the keys. "I can't do this right now!" I said as I raced outside the door.

I got inside the car and floored the acceleration pedal. My mind was getting chocked from the inside and out, with so many 'what if' situations a questions. I couldn't imagine losing Rachel, but my mind was overflowing with different scenarios about how I was going to lose her and how she was going to move on subsequently finding another guy in her life. Would she kiss him the same way? Would he call her every night the wayI did? Would their hands be perfect for each other when they walked? Will he say all the right words? Will she love him the same way as she loved me? How about me? Where do I go from there? How am I supposed to live with that! I rammed the brake pedals of my car and stopped on a reservoir. I placed my hands on my face and closed my eyes. I was scared. I was scared that I was going to lose her. God, there were so many things filling up my mind and I was getting strangled by it. My body felt so hollow yet slowly filling up with fear and pain, waiting until the pressure was so great that I would just explode. I got out of my car and just screamed. "AHHHHHHH! WHY!"

I got back inside my car and drove home. My parents were still sitting down by the dining table, exactly where I last saw them. They did not move an inch, looking just as stressed as I was. My mom got up and hugged me. "I know what you're thinking. If she really does love you, distance would just be numbers. Talk to her and explain. You have to be strong Damon."

My Dad got up and scratched his head. "You also have to think about your future son. We just want the best for you. If Rachel really is the one, put her in that list of priorities as well. Let her be your inspiration. One day when everything you have worked for and everything you have endured is done, you will be together again. But as of now, you have to focus on your future."

I took a deep breath and simplified everything that was happening. I understood where my parents were coming from, and as much as I hate to admit it, Poresing City was the best of the best. It was the best place to learn Aviation. If you wanted to be the best, that's the place to go to. My dad said something about focusing on my future, but the future I wanted was to be with Rachel.

I knew that I had to tell Rachel so I went to my room and called her. Rachel always had a 6th sense in knowing when something wasn't right. Immediately, she asked what was wrong. I didn't want to tell her what was going on through the phone, the least I could do was to say it face to face. "We need to see each other tomorrow Rachel, there is something I need to tell you. You have to trust me that this has to be done personally and not through the phone."

"Are you going to break up with me?" She asked.

I should be the one to ask that question tomorrow. "I'm not, it's just that something happened and will happen. I have to say it in person Rachel, trust me."