Weight of Living || The Galaxy Cat Sweater {Bastille || Dan Smith || The 1975}

18: Backstage

We were now all on our way to Brixton Academy. Me, Nadia, Lana, Alex, Peter, Ralph and Matt in the back of the van, Bastille in the front.

I was extremely excited for this concert. My first Bastille concert. From the backstage.

Suddenly, I looked up. I saw Matt and Ralph whispering and gesturing to each other. I decided to ignore that. 

Well, I should probably describe myself at the moment.

I was wearing a white and red ''Bad Blood'' tank top, a black jacket, black shorts over a black pantyhose, and red all stars. High ponytail, light make up, red lipstick.

Bad Blood was playing in the back of my head, and I unconciously started to hum it, because Nadia poked me.

I should probably describe the girls too.

I borrowed Lana and Nadia clothes.

Nadia was with grey leggings, a long white tank top where you could read ''Other People's Heart Ache'' in bright purple letters, white all stars, and a grey sweater that opened in the front. Her dark brown hair was tied up in a pigtail falling down her left shoulder, light make up and lip gloss on.

Lana was with black skinny jeans, a white cat shirt, boots, and a black blazer that she wore last night. Her caramel hair falling down in really soft waves down her back until her waist, green eyes marked with black eyeliner, red lipstick, just like me.

They looked stunning in my clothes, truth be told. Way prettier than me. 

The van stopped. This was it. We had arrived. 

We got out and the first thing I saw before we entered the back door was a gigantic line with determined fans waiting outside the front door of the O2. 

''You should be where they are, fatass, not where you are now. You shouldn't be going backstage. You aren't good enough.''

''Shut up. Shut up, just shut up.''

We got in and the guys quickly ran to the stage and started the sound check before the gates were opened.

Coop directed us to the place we were supposed to stay. A long time passed since the guys started the sound check. I looked at the hour; 7:30. They were opening the gates now and the guys came back in. 

- Hey. I think we should find Emma. - Matt said.

- I'll call her. - I said and got my phone. - Em! Are you here already?

''We're getting in. Are you in the backstage?''

- Yeah, I'll talk to the guys to see if they can get you here. I'll call you later.

''Ok.'' She hang up.

So I talked to the guys and after about 20 minutes Emma and Dan Howell were at the backstage with us. We sat on the sofas; they were all chatting excitedly, but I was just kind of there, quiet, observing, thinking, staring blankely at the wall. Thinking mainly about that dream I had last night. Dan approached me and wrapped his arms around me. 

- I will miss you, Anna. - His voice was husky. It snapped me out of my thoughts.

- I'll miss you too, Daniel. 

- Why don't you talk to me? Come on. - I looked at him. 

- Hm? Yeah. - I faked a smile and tried my best to look happy. After all, I was in Bastille's dressing-room. And then I'll see their concert from the backstage.

 ''Smile, Anna. Smile.''

I heard the guys talking about Lana's hair and I remembered.

- Dan? - He looked at me. - I am going to Lana del Rey's concert next Friday. I wish you could come with me. - His eyes acquired the saddest look I have ever seen. - No, don't... - I kissed him. I couldn't look at those eyes anymore.

***

So the concert has started. Me, Alex and Emma sang along to basically all songs. Bad Blood, Things We Lost In The Fire, Overjoyed, Laura Palmer, Flaws, The Silence, Sleepsong, Of The Night and Pompeii. 

The fans were going crazy. Dan got screamed at a lot. He started to jump, oh my goodness. He looks amazing when he's jumping. It was perfect. Everything, perfect. 

Even after all that happened, in that moment I couldn't say I was sad. That was amazing. I started to think about Kyle's voice, that is amazing, he should do a solo or something... Dan started to talk.

- Thanks, guys! You have been amazing. The show is almost over, but we've got one more surprise for you guys here. Tonight I brought very special people here with me. - He pointed to the backstage. To us. 

Suddenly, Ralph and Matt got up. They started to make their way to the stage and they pulled me with them. 

''What is going on? No. Wait. What? The show is over!'' 

- We are singing ''What Would You Do?'', ''Choices'' and you and Dan will sing ''Dreams''. - Matt whispered in my ear.

- NO! WHAT? LET GO! WHAT IS GOING ON? - I yelled, obtaining no answer. They were dragging me to stage. What was happening? 

As we were about to go in stage, a staff guy handed us microphones.

So the spotlights hit me. I was blind for a second. Matt and Ralph weren't holding my arms anymore, they were holding my hands. 

My brain started to ratiocinate. 

I was about to sing.

With Dan, Matt and Ralph.

No.