My Dearest, Laurens

Chapter 15

"Alex why didn't you tell me you felt this way?" John said. "You don't even need to change, I love you the way you are." I couldn't see John and I couldn't say anything but I knew he was there.

"Why do you do this to yourself?" I felt his hand on my forehead, "Everyone's worried sick," I heard him sob and my heart broke, "please wake up honey, I need you."

Why did I do this to myself? I thought John cheated, and I thought I wasn't good enough so I stopped eating. It started as just a diet. Then I started slipping breakfast and then lunch and then I would only eat once a day and it was cucumber slices and celery sticks.

Now I can't wake up and I can't see John. Stupid me, stupid misunderstanding, stupid diet, stupid eating disorder, stupid coma.

If I could cry I would.